Breakfast conundrum


Sal and I have bacon and eggs for breakfast three times a week.  Give or take.  We have poached eggs for health reasons of course, a tip o’the hat, as it were, towards healthier eggs as we plunge past into the debauchery of de bacon.  All set on a couple of slices of toasted sourdough and occasionally accompanied by some fried tomatoes.  Maybe salsa if Sal is feeling a bit crazy.

We don’t think the one or two slices of bacon is so bad.  You see, we buy local as much as possible and the bacon is local, lean and lacking the corporate seal.  Practically wild.  These hogs get to wander around and have a pig’s life before they grace our table.  Somehow that seems better.

But it does raise the question.  “Can ya hunt?  Can ya hunt deer, Dave?  Can you eat what you kill?  Got the guts?” And the answer has always been an easy and automatic one.  “Eeew, yu-u-ck!  No way! Gross!”

But I’m re-thinking that.

No, I am not re-thinking that because of the inherent hypocrisy and unconsciousness required when eating animals that have come to be ‘merchandised’ as bright red, bloodless and plastic-looking, cello-wrapped on styrofoam.  I rationalized that a long time ago.

And it is not so much that I feel that a real man should be able to hunt.  I abandoned that real man standard with the acceptance and adoption of cheap B flicks.  Too many more-real men out there.  Let Rambo do the hunting! (I mean, it is not like he is employable anywhere else even at the best of times, is it?).

I am thinking of hunting for a couple of more practical reasons.  One, the food would be local and organic.  That has to be healthier than the factory stuff.   Secondly, it is more convenient.  I mean, think about it…!  They wander all over the place!  I stop my car for them on the road!  A deer is like a walking convenience store (meat counter, anyway).  It is virtually delivered.  No fuel.  No boats.  No trucks.  No line-up for the ferry.  No unnecessary packaging to contend with.  For an off-the-gridder, it is a no brainer.

Which brings me to my third reason.  No brains are required.  This is primal man’s jurisdiction.  This is where the cast of Quest for Fire shines.  This is their kind of thing and, we all carry a bit of them within us.  Wouldn’t this be like getting in touch with my inner Neandrethal?  Killing defenseless animals as a way to further personal growth?

I dunno……..I am thinking about it, anyway.  The counterpoint to the above paragraph is that we have been equally as programmed to like big eyes and long legs.  Think: Barbi.  And deers have big eyes and long legs.  The phenomena of loving and worrying about Barbi/Bambi appealed to a primal and basic instinct, too.  So, maybe I should just try finding a seedy-looking, short-legged deer with little beady eyes?

I dunno.  Jury is still out.





4 thoughts on “Breakfast conundrum

  1. Those pygmy deer out to be pretty lean and tasty smoked or canned or hung up for a while like they done in “Shogun” till the meat falls off the bone. Then there’s smoked salmon…hmmm. Build a smoke house.


  2. lets put your money where your mouth is big guy. i still don’t think you have the guts to clean them (no pun intended) killing is no problem.


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