I am one of those people who cause trouble. Not real trouble, of course (although that, too, has happened) but ‘step-on-toes’ kinda trouble. Hurt feelings. Insensitive remarks. Opinions. Values. Judgements. I am, what is euphemistically described as, situationally incorrect….most of the time. Or, more succinctly: obnoxious. I can’t help it. I trust too much.
You see, I also like people and I crack good jokes for them and for me to enjoy. I do. Really. So the people I am with laugh and then I relax and then I innocently trust them to interpret my further remarks in my favour. You know…benefit of the doubt…kinda thing? Of course I know that a leper joke may fall on a victim’s ears and NOT be funny (to them) but I trust that they will see the humour first and the revulsion and dread as just normal. And not really personal.
OK, maybe I should have noticed the stubs……but………honestly, unknot the knickers, folks!
That kind of mentally healthy, humour acceptance rarely happens these days and I find myself having to apologize to some goofball who has sent money to lepers in Madagascar just because I made jokes about finding fingers in my soup. I mean, really?! Should I have to apologize for a leprous finger in my soup?
And I express opinions. I was in the West Vancouver Library today and they are going all free-enterprise on the citizenry and part of that is selling books that don’t get read. Like a discount bin. Of course, the two books on the discount bin that caught my attention were biographies of Stephen Harper ($3.00, hard cover) and Brian Mulroney ($4.00, hard cover). I honestly believe the hard-to-pass BM tomb (and I mean that) book went for more because it was, naturally enough, more long-winded. It was thicker, duller, more pompous and yet a still competitively horrible read.
“You guys will never sell these books, ya know…? If I had a working fireplace and you paid me the posted price instead of me paying you, I would warm myself with burning them but, other than that, they have no value. Seriously, librarian-dudettes, presto-logs are more marketable. Who does your inventory?”
A volunteer in the back cracked up but the two ‘pinched’ librarians just looked at me like I was specimen-in-a-jar.
I dunno…….maybe I should just shut up. Who wants to hear at an auto parts counter that they should NOT have a 20 minute wait and a ‘take-a-number’ system going on…complete with the well-timed and colourful sarcastic remarks….? Well, Lordco Northshore doesn’t like to hear it, that’s for sure. Pussies!
Could it be me?
Will I change?
I doubt it.
Maybe I should just go back to the forest where I belong.
I think so.