Sales is not my thing

The house we are at has pallets of granite to get rid of.  I said that I’d be here on the weekends and I’d try to sell it.

Ever tried to sell granite?  Like, stones as big as your head?  Trust me, it is not an easy sell.

First off, people will look at the stones as if they may be some kind of fake Styrofoam rocks or something.  They look at you as if to say, “These real granite?” 

“Gawd!  You caught me out!  I am so ashamed.  They are really just some kind of faux, felsic, igneous rock we picked up out of the ground.  Put ’em on pallets as a kind of merchandising gimmick.  Cheap knock-offs, probably.  Chinese-made imports maybe.  Honestly, I think they are a bit shy on the mica and quartz component.  I am so embarrassed.  Give you 20% off?”

“Huh?  So, they are real granite…?”

So I pick one up.  Pieces are typically about 90 to 100 pounds.  I hand it to the doofus.  They struggle for a sec and then drop it back on the pile.  And I say, “Hey!  Ya break it, ya bought it!  Ha ha!  Pretty close to the real thing, eh?” 

Even tho the price for the pallet of rocks is on the Craigslist ad, they always say, “So, how much do you want?” 

“Each rock is $10.00.  Each pallet is $400.  Take ten pallets and the price drops to $300.  Take ’em all and you are lookin’ at $250 a pallet.” 

“So, how about that twenty percent off?” 

“OK.  Fine.  Everything I just said less 20%.  How many pallets ya want?”

“I gotta think about it”. 

As if a few tons of rock is an impulse purchase and he doesn’t want to get carried away in the moment! 

Barely suppressing a rising anger, I say, “Good idea.  Talk it over with the wife.  Get back to me.  Ya never know…it might be the wrong colour.  These are grey.  Wanna take a sample rock?  See if she likes it?”

I pick up a small piece.  My face is stern and getting a bit red.  I hold the rock over my head like I am gonna beat him with it.  He backs away.  “So, punk!  What’s it gonna be?  You wanna rock or just waste my time!”  He turns to run…..

I’ve delegated the selling of granite to Sal.



2 thoughts on “Sales is not my thing

  1. I have finally caught up with your blog, again. I do understand about the ‘crazy busy’ business of life, be it employed or “retired”. It seems like living, sort of gets in the ‘way’ sometimes and usually for my wife and me in a good way.
    Is the selling of the Granite a condition of your release back into the wild? I hope not. However if it is I would consider notifying some sort of landscaping company. (You and or Sal probably already did that…)

    While I do reside in the suburbs, my heart, mind and well being are ‘remote’. I try to have as minimal contact with the city and all of its inducements. And for the most part it works as long as I can find a way to relax and enjoy the bits of beauty around me even in the city.

    It may not be much to know that we are pulling for you both! Cheers, db-CO


  2. The fence should be six feet or higher with boards or panels to provide privacy.
    Now that we have some of the basics out of the way, who are you targeting as customers.
    Dream Retreats is also able to raise travertine and flagstones, as well
    as rock architecture from pillars to niches for ponds.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.