I am not a big fan of Arizona although the weather is fabulous – especially compared to back home. Mind you, a cold sunny day back home is still the best. I love a cold, windy, sunny day at the beach. And, we have beach; rocky, beautiful beach.
I mention this for two reasons. People here talk about the weather. And virtually nothing else. The weather never changes and yet the conversation about it never ends. It is a small, local mental disorder. It would be mildly amusing if it was not so pernicious. A newscast consists of a weather report, followed by a weather related incident and then another weather report. If you change channels you get it all over again. It’s kinda like Groundhog Day ‘cept there is no story – just the weather. They suffer from weather minutiae syndrome.
Last night they caught me coming and going as I continually changed channels in desperation only to feel like I was not moving away from the weather…I started screaming….Sal had to calm me down.
Of course, it all eventually ended with a feature involving two Labrador retrievers being cute.
And people wonder why some ‘Mericans hole up in a building somewhere armed to the teeth and just start shooting…. I get that, now. I really do.
The second reason for mentioning the weather is that our BC home is cold. Zero. Freezing. Snow, even. And we are not there. But a neighbour points out, “Man, you are saving big on wood, I tell ya! We are pounding through the woodshed.” It is kinda sad that that gives me so much pleasure. “Hey, Sal! Seems we are really saving on wood!” And Sal smiles from ear to ear, too. Snatching small victories……
Here’s an interesting observation (mostly about me, I am afraid): I have always been a smidge sarcastic (if not misogynistic) when I see a stunningly beautiful woman in form-fitting fashion ‘anchoring’ the news desk. She’s, like, in her thirties and can’t pronounce many of the words. Or strutting around on stiletto heels doing the weather with a spokes model grin frozen on her face. “Geez, Sal. Why do you suppose they hired her?” Sal says, “Oh, stop it!”
I think it is eye candy! Sexploitation: plain and simple. Sal says, “How do you know she doesn’t have a degree in Astrophysics and keeps a large family together and functioning?” And I say, “Oh, stop it!”
But – get this: they do NOT do that in Arizona nor, increasingly, across the nation. More and more of the ‘anchors’ and weather-women are more common-looking. And ‘common’ in the USA is (dare I say it?) pretty chunky. Yes, you heard me…the women at the broadcast desk are not candy anymore – more like bread loaves, actually – and, as a bonus, very often kinda homely, too. Our local TV station also dresses the homeliest woman on TV in the world’s worst outfits. Last night Heifer Smith wore a tight, shiny black Naugahyde dress with huge folds and wraps. I kept thinking of Toad of Toad Hall in patent leather. I honestly tune in every night just to see how bad the next outfit will be. Sal watches too and says, “Ooooh, that poor woman!”
That is ‘fem-speak’ for “Oh my God! She looks horrible!”
In truth, I actually kinda like that. I do. Honest. NOT the horrible outfits and certainly not the bizarre ‘Merican penchant for an overly painted clown face every woman seems intent on donning with heavy, heavy make-up but I do like the idea of ‘the norm’ showing up instead of vacuous spokes models whose only apparent talent is the ability to have conversations while extreme smiling through teeth that look manufactured. The homely ones look more human, more common, more average. It should be a good thing.
It’s not that great, it turns out. I used to watch the sexy ones for reasons unrelated to weather. And now I watch the homely ones so as to be kinda shocked – and then crack bad jokes. It appeals to my inner Don Rickles. In a bizarre way, I think the producers seem to know their audience. “Ahh..the old guys are getting grouchy and no longer seek out the cutest spokes model. I think we should save some money and hire their ex-wives!”