…because I am now so disinclined to write. About anything. It’s all his fault. He ruined it for me. It sounds silly but let me explain:
I write because I have to. It’s in me. I have to get it out. It’s cathartic, therapeutic and freeing to let the demons out. To let the anger out. “If I unburden myself, I will remain sane. If I bottle it up, I will go insane”. So the personal logic is clear: ‘SPILL’.
Spill for health!
But, of course, there is an obvious ‘condition’ or caveat to that stress-release mechanism and that ‘catch’ is that the rant or expression has to be true. At least it has to be MY truth. Why? Because all therapies are about getting to the truth about things. This is my truth and I am telling you like (I think) it is. Screaming truth is the goal. Finding the truth is the work.
But Trump has turned all that on it’s head. He blatantly lies, threatens and commits acts of madness without any kind of normal-level retribution. NO work involved in finding that truth but there are surprisingly NO CONSEQUENCES for him! People are basically just TAKING IT!
But this is NOT really about Trump. It is about me. And, going back to my truth-seeking, it seems I am weak. Or at least confused. I am so gobsmacked by the lunacy, the idiocy, the corruption, the illogical and the blatant violation of all that is good and decent, I am literally struck dumb. “How can this be?”
You can imagine what the election of Jason Kenney and Doug Ford added to the mental and moral violation I feel of all that is right. You can imagine what Alabama’s new abortion law does. Imagine William Barr playing hide and seek with the Mueller report. There has been quite a sequence of insane, inexplicable events these past few years.
And Trudeau and Norman didn’t help. Trudeau and Alberta didn’t help. Trudeau and his mother’s one-act stage play doesn’t help either (shades of The Persecution and Assassination of Jean Paul Marat……). It’s as if NOWHERE IS SANE!!!
It’s mystifying. It’s almost as if the majority of people can’t speak up to it either. It’s as if they are going along with it even tho they KNOW better…. as when the naked Emperor paraded around in invisible clothes and everyone pretended he was clothed. “Why is this happening?”
Seriously…why isn’t there a gunman on a grassy knoll somewhere? Several, in fact?
There are a lot of answers, of course. We’ve all taken a run at trying to figure it out…“Hmmm…why are bigots and deplorables getting so much air time?” “Why are they so angry at brown skin when the collective violation they feel was so clearly executed by white CEOs..?” “How can they see a hero in such a liar, pig and con-man?” And on and on and on…..
So…bottom line, I am not writing while I remain confused. I do NOT have a grasp on truth, mine or any other. I simply do NOT get it. Why is this happening? is the question and I do not know is currently my answer.
And, of course, it is NOT just Trump or Ford or Trudeau. It is T-F-T in the time of Cholera or, better put, in the time of climate change, saber-rattling with China, economic chaos, growing societal degeneration and loss of natural habitat with the added and tragic loss of 80% of the earth’s animals and creatures. We are dying in front of our own eyes and killing all the innocent bystanders at the same time! And the band plays on while the naked king plays golf. This is as close to a Nero fiddling and Caligula cavorting as one can imagine in the 21st Century.
This is nuts!
Ravens and whales are good. Chores getting done. First of the visitors looming. Sal still perfect-in-every-way.
But I’m a bit ticked…..