A friend wrote to ask: “Really, what are the benefits of change?” He, too, is 62 and wondering what retirement might hold in store. So, I feel compelled to answer. Not because I know what the hell I am talking about for him but because I know what I am talking about for me and, to be fair, I have been a bit of booster for shaking things up now and then. I should have some kind of answer for a friend standing on the threshold of change, shouldn’t I?
So, here goes: Change just for the sake of change is OK, I guess. It has been enough for me many times in the past. You know, `variety is the spice of life` and all that, by Jove! Change thrust upon you, like retirement, may not be so hot. But then, I have never stayed around long enough to be sent packing…………………well, maybe a few times. So, yeah! Change rammed down your throat is not so good.
All the more reason to make the changes on your own terms.
Sometimes change is just painting over old paint. It is just an exercise in trying to fool yourself. One thing always remains the same in the short term, anyway: you. You’re gonna be who you are whether you are in Hong Kong or on Read Island. Things will remain much the same but for a few superficial things so there is no real fundamental change that can get measured as a direct result of any one move, however radical or foreign it might be.
Real change takes place over decades. By the time you are 60 you are the ‘you’ you were born to be (genetics) and the ‘you’ your (nurture) culture influenced but, with some explorations and adventures, you can also be the ‘you’ you helped make. Think of changing your circumstances now and then as a tool to shape yourself.
You’d think I’d have picked a better shape, wouldn’t you?
Lots of people re-do the house, get a new car, seek the latest electronic gadget or buy things to get that need for ‘new’ satisfied and they do so without risking the status quo. That seems OK to me. Maybe their status quo is full of happiness and personal fulfilment. And it just needs the bathroom re-done. So, who am I to judge?
I do think real change has to be a bit more than a dash of spice or a new car although I am the last one to advocate for radical change. (Possible exception: politics) Despite how some see our move to the island, we have very many of the same things running throughout in our life. We are quite stable, really. One shouldn`t throw out the baby with the bathwater, after all.
But, for me, real change has to have a bit of the ‘unknown’. There has to be a smidge of adventure and, as the last blog said, it has to have a learning component. Something new, absolutely new. Like teaching English in Hong Kong. Or going to live on a sailboat (before we did it, I mean).
They are all relatively easy challenges in the giant scheme of things. I still have Sal. And she has me. Ben and Em will always be Ben and Em. Our relationships with our friends have altered somewhat but they are still our friends. And that, honestly, is 95% of it regardless of what we are doing or where we are doing it.
There are many foundation ‘cornerstones’ in our life and, though we may do some alterations now and again, the basic footprint remains. Of course, our footprints are a bit different than some but, really, I am talking only 5% of what is important when I talk change. My idea of change is a few inches beyond what you can plan for. Safe and simple, really.
And change for me comes from curiosity. Interest has always been the main goal. Being interested, being curious, learning, challenge, foreign, unusual…………those are the words that come up for me. And so, when we have the money, the inclination, the time and the opportunity, why not?
And, here is the bonus………….there is no real downside. Life has setbacks anyway so if you take a chance and try something different, you can always go back if you don’t like it. Or ‘back’ enough. And, so far, none of the ‘changes’ has made me want to ‘go back’. Not one.
Sorry.
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