As most of you know, I built a funicular a few years ago.  It is a tram that climbs our upper slope.  Funicular Mark1 is 80 feet long and goes from the boathouse deck to the BIG house at a 33 degree angle and is powered by a 3 hp, 3-phase electrical motor working through a battery bank, an inverter, a transformer and a Siemens motor controller.  The motor drives a huge winch and it, in turn, pulls up a heavy metal wheeled cart capable of carrying as much as 1000 pounds.  It makes schlepping up and down the hill much easier.

But not easy enough.  This past year I began Funicular Mark ll.  That one goes down from the boathouse deck to the sea.  Of course, the sea goes up and down (tide) and so the ‘working’ length varies with the time of day and the month of the year.  With the tide out the distance to be covered is 70 feet at a 24 degree angle.  This funicular is intended to pull the boat up to the deck like a marine ways.

The motor is a 2 hp, 3-phase with an electronic brake.  The lower funicular will be operated by hand-held wireless remote controllers.  I am hoping to be able to drive up to the bottom of the lower tracks, summon the cart, drive the boat on and, a couple of minutes later, step off on to the boathouse deck.

You have to admire my optimism.

I have already encountered some major challenges in this project but none quite as formidable as the wiring diagram.  My friend, Bill, is a techie of the Gyro Gearloose kind, a live, ‘walkin’, talkin’, Rube Goldberg type who can jury-rig jerry-rigged things electrical, mechanical and, to some extent, culinary.  He is clearly a jack of all things eccentric, master of only a few.  Makes for an interesting time.  

My Siemens motor controller came with instructions for programming written in German.  Bill programmed it.  “I didn’t know you spoke German, Bill.” He looked at me blankly and said, “I don’t.  All computer programs speak a similar language and that is all you need to know.”  Yeah.  Right.  But it works great. 

Bill wanted me to integrate the electrical system of Fun Mk l with the electrical system of Fun Mk ll.  After four years I have barely mastered how to turn it off and on.  I was not going to be able to ‘mix systems’.  “Never mind.  I have it in my head.  I’ll draw it up and I’ll print it out on a diagram for you.  Anyone can follow a diagram.”

Yeah.  Right.  The diagram came in the mail yesterday.  It looks like the communications system in a NASA space station and the labels, names and abbreviations are as close to Cryllic as one is likely to find outside of Russia.  I don’t have a hope.

Sally took one look at it and said, “Gimme that!  You are not going anywhere near our working funicular!  Do you hear me!?  We need that thing.  You’ll try to do that and everything will go to hell!  Gimme that paper!”

Normally, I would argue a bit.  Put up a small macho protest.  “If Bill says I can do that, I can do that.”  But not this time.  I wouldn’t have fooled anyone.  It took me several minutes just to figure out which side of the diagram was up.

By then, Sally had snatched it away anyway.

Some projects go even more slowly than others.