There are more bachelors living feral than spinsters. It is natural, I guess. Women tend to value relationship more than do men, I think, and so they are not so much alone as a rule. The older men get, the lonelier they are and if they are rural and single, they are often isolated.
And isolation makes you quirky. Many men seem to get soooooo bloody quirky as they age that independence/loneliness becomes the default position for them. That or the sanitarium!
It is just the way it is. There is a long history of the lone wolf male (although I admit that there are more than just a few crazy cat ladies out there as well). Their only live-in is a pet. And some pets are just as independent and quirky.
Nevertheless, however it happens, we have our ‘lone’ characters out here. Len is one of them. I saw him on the dock the other day and inquired as to his health. He has a bad back.
“Not bad, considering I just moved the old fridge out of my bedroom all by myself and I’m no worse for it.”
“Fridge in the bedroom?”
“Been there since 1969. It was an old second hand fridge back then and needed venting so I put it upstairs in my bedroom so as to be closer to the roof. You know, shorter venting stack.”
“Of course. Who wouldn’t?”
“Anyways, it’s an old ‘Merican-built Servel, ya know? They stopped makin’ ’em in the 40’s. It uses propane. Built a nice little closet around it so that all the fumes would collect and vent. Worked good for all these years.”
“So? What happened? Interior decorator unhappy?”
“Who? What? Ha ha. No. Damn thing just wouldn’t get cold on one side. Weird. Half the freezer was cold and the other half wasn’t. Figured it was getting old so I just got a new one shipped over. Took the old one out. Not easy getting a fridge down a flight of stairs, ya know. Had to take the door off. Kinda ruined my door seal doing it. The original one went bad years ago but, you know, silicon goop did the job until now. Worked great until just recently.”
“Too bad. Sounds like quite a nice little unit.”
“Yeah. But here’s the kicker: when I got it out I found out what went wrong. Seems half of the back vents were all clogged up. So there was no heat exchange going on for half the fridge!”
“Clogged with what?”
“Mouse nests. The little buggers have been building nests in there for decades! They was feet deep! Musta gone through more’n a few mouse generations! Hahaaha.”
“Who woulda thunk it, eh? So, now what?”
“Well, I got the old gal down on the front porch, eh? And now that I sees what’s wrong, I am figuring to clean off the nests and crap with a leaf blower and attach another propane line. Once I got the old door on, I’ll fire it up. Just might work fine for keeping prawns, ya know?”
Sometimes when you are driving in the country or maybe watching an old re-run of Deliverance, you’ll notice a country house with an appliance or two on the front porch. If you are like me, you wonder, ‘How the hell does an appliance end up on the front porch?’
Now you know.
Our Off the Grid Home 