It was that time again yesterday.  Go to the Q-hut to work on the transformation of an old one-room school made out of a Bailey building just after WWll into a community woodworking shop stopping at lunch time to hobnob with neighbours down at the dock.  That and Sal’s yoga session is part of our weekly routine.

Before and after the lunch-break, we guys work slowly and crack stupid guy-jokes.  It’s quite fun.  Plus we are getting something done.  Doesn’t get much better than that.  Well, it did, actually.  It was a beautiful day and it was additionally graced by two young public health nurses trying to flog vaccines on a paranoid rural subset of humanity.  They had encounters.

I decided to be one of them for the time I was with the nurses.  It’s kinda fun acting like a curmudgeon from the sticks.  “Wouldn’t be doing this if t’weren’t for wife, you know.  She’s the big cheese ’round these parts.  Resistance is futile.  Still, I don’t usually have what the government is offering.  It’s all a trick, you know.  You gals have trouble sleeping at night knowing that you are injecting that nano-robot, mind-control chip technology into the people?  Or did they inject you two first and now you think it is all good?”

“Uh, sir, you don’t have to have the shots, you know.  It’s a public service.” “So, they say.  But I hear tell them nano-things are in all of us nowadays.  The only real reason to get another shot is to get your nano-things updated, you know, like an update from Microsoft.  Once you are into the system, you gotta keep up or else your programming will go all whacked.  That’s where Alzheimer’s came from, you know.  Old people forget to update.  We’re all programmed by Bill Gates, you know!”

By this time their professionalism is kicking in and they are going with the flow.  “Yes, sir, but you know Bill and Melinda are into eradicating diseases, right?  And so this may just be part of that plan.  Now that would be good, wouldn’t it?”  She says that with a lovely smile in an obvious effort to keep the customer calm and relatively relaxed while she and her assistant start doing their task with amazing speed.  They are going to keep this encounter brief.

I take another tack.  “Can I have this shot in my butt?  You know, I get to drop my drawers and bend over?  It’s always more fun that way.”  “NO!” They say in unison getting that worried look on their faces and working even quicker.

Sue, one my neighbours shows up just then.  And I say, “If you’re wanting one of them nano-probes here, Sue, you gotta get ‘neckid’ first.  These here nurses want to see you in your altogether ‘fore they’ll stick you with the new technology.  Don’t you worry ’bout me, I won’t look.  But they sure do!”  The nurses fix me with cold stare and a sharp jab and tell Sue that it is not necessary to disrobe and that I am just some sort of old trouble maker. 

“Can I get the shot in my butt?” Sue asks.  “It’s always more fun that way.”

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