ARMCHAIR CONTRACTORS

Despite knowing little if anything at all about just about everything, I tend to be opinionated (if not obnoxious) about things.  Especially building cabins.  I sometimes even think I know what I am talking about (if my wife isn’t present to correct me).  It’s not an attractive feature of my personality but, like all human frailties, I can’t help myself and I do find some solace with the company of billions of like-minded fools who act as I do.  We’re armchair contractors. 
Worse though, I tend to share my opinions and ignorance like an act of generosity. “No, really!  Help yourself.  I have lots more advice where that came from!”
You’d be amazed at how infrequent are the requests for my advice.  On anything. 
On reflection, and with a rare encounter with self-awareness, I am inclined to believe that somehow ‘do-it-yourself-ism’ aggravates this ‘know-it-all’ condition.  But I could be wrong about that (heh heh, only joking!).  
 There is nothing worse for a professional contractor to hear than those opinions of the amateur next door.  Well, my doctor winces a lot when I mention my medical research on the internet so maybe it’s a universal problem for experts and knowledgeable people. 
I wouldn’t know anything about that. 
The latest poor soul to fall victim to my misplaced sense of expertise is my soon-to-be immediate neighbour a few thousand meters northwest.  He is building a cabin. 
The man is in his sixties, successful in life and proven capable in any number of endeavours, not the least of which was marrying a capable, competent and successful wife and spawning progeny equal in abilities to their parents.  They are a can-do family.
“So, I guess you have everything organized for the big build coming?” I ask with Machiavellian delight.  I know he doesn’t.  How can he?  He hasn’t consulted me (or my wife) and the task is a daunting one.  It sure daunted me.  I can still feel the daunts all over my body and in my bones.    
“Yep.  We’re good to go.”  I search the words for double meaning paying special heed to vibrations of fear, insecurity, confusion or doubt.  I remember those feelings well and want them shared.  But, against all odds, he seems to really mean it.
Still, confidence, expertise, ability and a healthy bank account are not enough to deter my generosity of information.  “Which barge service you using?”  
“Not.  Using a helicopter instead.” 
Hmmmmmmmm….this is getting harder.  “What’s your foundation?”   
“Got a special system.  Should go up in an afternoon.” 
“Got a good genset?” “Got two.” 
“Well, you know, mixing concrete up here is pretty hard work.  Need any help?” “No.  Got a new mixer.  I wore out the old one!”
I may be a fool but I am not so much of an obtuse fool and it seemed to me that his  answers were better than my questions.  Maybe I had better shut up and just watch.
That nanosecond of self awareness thankfully passed.
 “So, ever built a cabin before?” I ask with the slightly pathetic tone of a guy wanting to tell his story.  I thought it might work.  It doesn’t. 
“Yep.  Several.  But my contractor has built dozens.  He’s coming out with his crew to build to the lock-up stage.  Is there anything I can do for you?”
I had been dismissed.  “No.  No.  I’m good.  Good luck to you.  Doesn’t sound like you’ll need it, though.  Sounds like you are ready.  Good for you.  See ya!”  And then I leave much like I would leave the driving range when the local golf pro comes out to hit balls.  There is really no point in hanging around.  He doesn’t need me. 

Not yet, anyway.  

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