You may have noticed a bit of a shift in the blogs lately? I am not so sure there has been one but I think there has. I am getting signs.
The major indicator? My wife has recently turned against me.
Sal is the editor and, as my wife, is supposed to be supportive and nurturing. Encouraging would be nice. Actually, NOT being yelled at is usually good enough for me to consider that as adequate spousal support but even that just changed (we’re still negotiating nurturing). The other day she said, “Sorry. This blog you just wrote can’t go up. Not good enough. Try again!”
“You heard me. I have decided that, if this is going to eventually turn into a book or something and will have my name attached to it, you have to kick it up a notch. I want better. Sorry. But I am going to get harder on you. The bar has just been raised. And I don’t want to have to tell you this again.”
“What are you saying? Have I gotten worse? Or are you getting tougher? And by ‘tougher’ I mean ‘horribler’!”
“Well, I do think you are fading, somewhat. Frankly, I have been disappointed lately. Not enough laughs, ya know? You better get funny, man!
“But really, it is not just about fading, getting duller, losing your charm. Boring. Not really. It is also about mediocrity. And then there is bland to consider, too. Really, it’s about NOT growing. The blog is just NOT growing! Look at your numbers, for Gawd’s sake!! Who reads you? Like, a dozen or so? Honestly, you have to get better or get a new hobby. The old crap just won’t do. Now I want more. We all want more!”
“So, it’s me!?”
“Yep. You’re boring me. You are boring us all! People are phoning me, asking me questions about your mental state. Basically, you suck! But it is also me. I have been too lax until now. Too easy on you. I let you get away with crap. No longer gonna happen, mister. We have to get serious. It is time to put your words where your mouth is. No more Ms Nice Gal. Not here. Not now. The editor says, suck it up!”
“Whoa! Way harsh! I am reeling. Gasping, actually. You just ripped my heart out!”
“It is for your own good. Think of it as tough love.”
“I think of it already as horrible love.”
So, since everyone likes to kick a man when he is down, I thought I’d ask you, the reader: If all the previous posts were assembled and put into book form, the theme of which still kind of eludes me but which Sal assures me is something like ‘old city guy goes to the country’ or ‘it is never to late to follow a dream’ or ‘learning and growing while greying’, what components are missing for you? What do you want to hear? What would make all the gibberish gell?
And how do I get Sal to be nice to me again?