It’s raining. Yesterday my chainsaw packed it in. Gotta get another. Kiss some more dollars goodbye. And we’ve got two woofers here sitting around getting bored. You’d think we’d all be a bit frustrated. But we are not!
Yesterday- just before the saw quit – we finished the wood! That’s right! Winter is handled. Wah-bloody-hoo! And the w’fers are great. We are all getting along hugely. I get to tell stories, wax on about life, religion, sex, politics and various sundry topics and they are trapped by the rain like lab rats. For me a captive audience is the second best thing to getting work done.
Plus they are loathe to leave us because of Sally’s food. We have seafood galore and this, it seems, is a great treat. Generous amounts of wine are helping, too. So, all is good.
I’ll borrow a chainsaw to finish up some more wood (future winters) and we will all go out, get wet, get tired, get sore and get things done. It’s what we do.
And I try to make our conversations a bit colourful to say the least. Well, my part in it is, anyway. They seem a little shocked at times (which is the point). Last night I introduced the topic of Jesus. Nothing quite like Jesus to shake up a burgeoning relationship. God! I love having w’fers! Heheheheh.
“Hey! You two wanna know what Jesus really looks like?”
“Jesus. You know? God’s son? Wanna know what he really looks like?
“Well, like the pictures? Or the guy depicted on the cross, you mean?”
“Yeah. Had him in my car once, I did. Wanna know stuff about Jesus?”
“Uh, well, that would be nice. But I was just thinking about that ol’ chainsaw. Maybe we can take it apart and fix it………………waddya think?”
“Nah. I think the chainsaw breakin’ was a sign from God, ya know? We are supposed to talk about Jesus. Wanna hold hands?”
And it goes on from there. Gawd! I love w’fers.
I am an ordinary guy for the most part. With a bit of character, I suppose, and my own sense of humour, of course. We all are like that, I think. But sometimes it is hard for people to know where one part leaves off and the other part begins. Especially for w’fers from a foreign country. Is this just Dave being Dave? Or is this a Canadian thing? Or a rural, feral thing? Is he always like this? Or was he cracking a joke? They have no reference point.
They are like putty.
It usually doesn’t take people long to learn that they should look to Sally for a clue. She’s the sane one. Mostly. So, they tend to ‘check with Sal’ before taking me too literally. Even when I am dead straight, they aren’t too sure as a rule. “Sally, David just told us to come in for lunch. Is that true? Is there lunch? Should we come in? We just don’t know anymore!”
Typically, there is a time when I tell them a story that is just plain crazy-sounding, outrageous, ridiculous and, of course, true for the most part. They crack. “That’s just insane. You are lying. I am sure of it. You are just trying to wind me up, you are. Just being goofy!”
“Sal. Tell ’em.”
“Yeah. Well, sorry guys. That story is true. I was there. It does sound crazy and he tells it kinda exaggerated but, honest, that one is 99% true. Really.”
They slip into a state of confusion. I grin from ear to ear.
Who can we trust?