Sex and depravity


Well, the best I can report on without my editor erasing…………..

The thing about ravens is that, despite their reputation for being ‘tricksters’ or ‘naughty birds’, there is precious little information about them to titillate.  Sorry.  Ravens are pretty private, actually.  They will come and engage with you on a raven-human basis for the purposes of food-getting or entertainment but their real lives, their family lives, their intimate lives are kept very private.  We never discuss anything personal beween us and we don’t even know where their nest is.

I dunno…….we’re close but distant.……ya know?

I can report that Jack and Liz seem to be pretty monogamous.  ‘Course, I don’t cover the distances they do and nor would I know the ‘signs’ if one was making out with someone other than their own spouse.  But Jack is almost always ‘around here’ and Liz just doesn’t seem the type, ya know?  She’s a bit nervous, a bit fearful and quite a homebody.  She stays pretty close to the nest.  Not the type to step out.

And ol’ Jack is a smidgen on the macho side.  He keeps other ravens out of the picture.  Ol’ Jack has carved out his domain and he does not tolerate incursions.  Not even by the eagle.  Not by a flock of gulls.  Not by anyone.  No bird messes with Jack.  I am reminded of the old 70’s song by Jim Croce, ‘Bad, Bad Leroy Brown, meanest bird in the whole damn town.’

Plus they have been together for as long as we have been here.  That’s pushing eight years.  That has to tell you something about their relationship, eh?  And I am not even counting the offspring!  These guys may be very private but they evidently do get it on.  At least around February or March.  By the middle of the summer we have little Liz and Jacks all over.  Every year.  And, just for the record: all the babies look like Jack and/or Liz.  So, one could conclude from that that no other species, anyway, was involved.

No, I think Jack and Liz are pretty straight.

Seals, on the other hand?  Don’t get me started!  Firstly, I have never seen a greater percentage of deadbeat dads than those in the seal population.  Every pup is with their mother.  Even on the weekends!  Every mother is a single mother.  Not only that, they seem to be itinerant.  They never settle down.  in effect, seals couch surf.  Family-wise, seals do not impress.

River otters have a whole other weird and different issue going on.  They have scatological problems.  It must be some kind of psychological thing.  But they seem to have a lot of their own poop playing a major role in their lives.  And the lives of others.

Our dogs, for instance.

Megan and lately Fiddich, like nothing better than to splash on a little eau d’otter after having a bath.  They think they smell nice.  They are wrong!  I have no idea what is going on in their heads…… could the excrement of another animal seem appealing?  Mind you, most of the best perfumes made around the world have a base of ambergris – part of the expelled contents of a whales stomach – so maybe it is just me.

I just don’t seem to get everything that goes on out here.  This is just another mystery, I guess.

But at least I kept my promise…………..

1 thought on “Sex and depravity

  1. “She looked so helpless there, spread-eagled on the floor. I beat the eagle off and gave her a quick mouth-to-mouth resuscitation job. And then it struck me. (Nancy wakes up/slap) What a sap she had…uh…”


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