How good animals go bad


Sal has bird feeders.  Cute birds come and Sal watches them flitting about and pecking.  She likes it.  They are pretty.   It’s nice.

The feeders are by the kitchen window.  The squirrel also comes.  It, too, is cute.  It flits about and feeds as well.  But it is not the right kind of cute and so Sal tries to wave the squirrel off.

Waving from behind the window doesn’t work even tho the feeders are just a foot away.  So Sal tried opening the window and employing a water pistol which was effective for a few squirts but the little rat simply adjusted after awhile and took to eating while showering.  So Sal started getting Fiddich involved.

Fid’s not too bright.

With a shriek and a scramble, Sal and Fid would race from the front of the house to the back where the kitchen window had revealed yet another rodent trespass and the chase was on!  Except Fid doesn’t have a natural ‘chase’ instinct.  He has a fetch instinct.  Apparently there is a big difference.

Fid does not know from squirrels.  I am not so sure he even sees the squirrel but by the time the two of our domestic security team have closed the gap on the perp, he is pretty excited and is pretty much ready for anything.

He hasn’t the faintest clue as to what that might be.

So Sal makes ch-ch-ch sounds and points at the squirrel.  Unconsciously, I am sure, she kind of hops in place while doing that.  The squirrel sits on the feeder and makes ch-ch-ch sounds back at her and Fid, now worked up into a frenzy, streaks by to do his duty.  Past the squirrel.  He races off into the forest.  Barking.  Looking fierce.  And not just a bit stupid.

The squirrel continues to dine and watches Fid run around.  He occasionally glares at Sally as if to say “Now look what you’ve gone and done!  Poor ol’ Fid is all worked up and confused.  Not good!  Why not just leave well enough alone”.

After having been suitably embarrassed a few times Sal eventually decided to face her foe head on.  She went at him with a light wand, like a chop stick or something.  That worked.  For a minute or two.  But he came back.  Then Sal lost her cool.  And she rushed out the last time without her wand and, caught up in the excitement of the hunt, as it were, she actually reached out and gave the little sucker a finger-tap on the squirrel-bum.  That surprised him.  And Sal.  And me, I must admit.  And off he ran.

But he’s come back again.  Of course.  And I swear he is now eating the bird seed with his butt purposefully aimed at the window.  I think he is wiggling it.  In fact I know he is wiggling it.  And he is looking over his shoulder to see if Sal is there!

Sal is tempted to go out again but doesn’t like to encourage that kind of behaviour in the wildlife.  She doesn’t like to even think where it may lead.  She is quite horrified at the possibilities.

This whole fiasco began because Sal likes to watch the wildlife.  I thought it was a bit silly in the beginning, to be honest.  But I was wrong.  NOW it is getting really interesting.

4 thoughts on “How good animals go bad

  1. Perspective is all. Never got the ‘squirrel free zone’ to me they are stight, you know dank. The bird feeder must be an easy score for the squirrel. Put it somewhere that forces the squirrel to hang up-side-down from a wire by one toe nail over a fifty foot drop to the rocks. That way if he falls u have got grain fed squirrel to eat. Curried squirrel is better than goat curry anyway.


  2. Just don’t fall when you inevitably have to climb the tree and hang the feeder from a wire. Then you can watch the ensuing squirrel acrobatics.


  3. Because your bad squirrel’s gonna fall bad
    He’s gonna be the swingin’est squirrel you’ve ever had
    If you like’em fall’ng off your perch then you ought to be glad
    Cause some day your cheating squirrel’s gonna fall bad


  4. oh my! I laughed out loud; funny stuff. My husband retired a few years back and declared war on the squirrel on the bird feeder. He tried everything he could think of (but don’t think he ever swatted the little guys back side! ) Finally, he gave up and let that chubby cheeked fellow help himself; let him share with the birds. Then Himself adopted three kittens. The outdoor kittens grew into three big cats. Squirrel moved on. And those big cats don’t jump on the bird feeders.


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