My friend died today.
It was a long time coming. Too long. MSA is horrible enemy. He will be missed.
Sal and I went to the house. Friends and family were there. No one really knew what to do except mill about and talk a bit about him. All of it good, of course. Which is just as well since there was nothing much left to do. Not really. He was gone.
I have been in the presence of the deceased before and was always struck by the utter absence of the real person despite the body being present. This time was different. It felt as if he was still there. Somewhat, anyway.
My friend was quite spiritually inclined. You know, meditation, lots of reading, some groups, eating lentils……no booze or anything…..body-as-a-temple? And, if one had to choose a ‘category’ of spiritualism, it would be Buddhism. Or Buddhist-like. Kinda. He definitely had a Zen thing going on most of his life. In fact, he was the embodiment of the theme from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance (Robt. M. Pirsig). Even his motorcycle showed it.
Buddhists believe the spirit lingers for four days. It did feel a bit like that………..
But, for our more earthly and prosaic purposes, he was gone and so, after awhile, we left.
Others were coming in as we were going out. And sadly, his widow had to deal with that. As if she didn’t have enough to deal with already. Even sympathy can be hard to deal with.
And, really, there is nothing to say. Death comes to us all. And we all know it. And it came to him this morning robbing MSA of yet another ghastly endurance test. In this case, death is a respite. And that’s the way I am going to look at it.
M was an incredible man. He will be remembered by many of us.
Still, I feel happy and releived for D who dedicated many years to his last years.
I and others who know her will look after her and help her move on and maybe enjoy life once again.
Thank you for being a good friend to M.
Look forward to reading more of your adventures.
No one should have to go through that illness – not the victim nor the caregiver. Way too harsh. I hope she moves on soon – if she can, it will not diminish their time together in the least. But she needs a little sunshine after this storm. A LOT of sunshine, actually.
Hugs Dave and Sally. You were there for him and with him. it was the right time to be on the coast.
Yes, it was. It really was. For so many reasons but mostly for that one. Not the last visit but the one before that, we spent the bulk of the time laughing. We were trying to remember old boat names and, of course, he couldn’t speak so it was all done with some weird kind of looks, arched eyebrows, blinks and vibes. And yet the laughter still came. Good way to remember him.
ahhh . . . good times and worth-while memories. These will comfort you as you move ahead.
Our thoughts are with you, David and Sally . Love John and Jorge .
Hello David & Sally, Malcolm’s obituary is in the Sun at http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/vancouversun/obituary.aspx?pid=170503329
I’m looking forward to meeting up with everyone when the Celebration of Malcolm’s life is announced. Much love to you and yours, Susann