Not much…(cough, cough)

…same ‘ol…..

Guests in groups, pairs, droves, flocks and clumps.  Working in spastic intervals between interrupting dollops of pick-up, drop-off, hospitality and first aid.  Lots of dish-washing. Beer.  Wine.  Finger-food….all the live-long-day.


Some local cesspool-on-two legs at the school recently gifted me with the head-cold from Hell. They must have touched me when I wasn’t looking.  I swear, the main advantage I can see with the school system is strengthening your own kids immune system.  And, of course, eliminating old people who no longer have small children from using the food system. It’s a jungle.

The Inuit were kinder sending their old folks out on ice floes. Now we slyly invite geriatrics into the ‘lab’ to talk to the kids and later put a little check by their name: David Cox, soon-to-be-leaving-us.

You want a plot?  I’ll give you plot – death by infectious classroom.

I actually like kids but I am starting to feel that I need perspex when we meet.  A large cube for me.  A larger cube with disinfectant spray for them.   It would be fine.  The pope likes it.

Maybe we could just boil them first?

We so rarely get ill nowadays, it is a shock when it happens.  Really.  “What the hell!?  Is my head melting or something?  What is all this goo?  And why am I shaking and sweating for no reason?”  

Trauma, collateral damage from tools, old-fashioned, ordinary damage, fluke-accident damage, and lots and lots of blood-letting and pain to be sure. They are common, even daily occurrences for me.  But ‘sick’?  Hardly ever.

One needs a kid to inflict that kind of misery.  We had eleven the other day.  The class is usually 13 but two kids were home ill.  Duh!

When meeting a group of kids, I now feel like an Aztec/Mayan meeting the new Spaniards…you just know it isn’t going to end well…. “Why don’t you kids just stand there…you know…downwind…? Hold this perspex in front of you when speaking. “

Oh, don’t worry.  I’ll be fine.  Worry about Sal.  She has to live with me while I am drooling and coughing and whinging and demanding more tea.  I’d hate to be her.  Bad enough being me.  I’ll get back on that funicular project when my mucous isn’t obliterating the welding and clogging up the drill press.   


12 thoughts on “Not much…(cough, cough)

  1. I know there is no comfort in having jacked up Immune system but getting sick is positive. Your body is in fighting trim.


    • The slime alien (or else it was a Pacific octopus that sneaked up into my head) has taken up residence and, worse, it is charging rent. I want to move out.
      My body is disgusting. And that is when I am well! Sick, I am even more repugnant that usual. The only thing it is fighting is remaining vertical. Even Sal is keeping her distance. So is Fiddich (he doesn’t know why but if Sal is avoiding me, he is, too). This may be the only valid reason to quit the blog: my own demise.


  2. Sorry, but I had to laugh when you talk about kids and sickness.
    My friend used to work in a daycare and she was ALWAYS sick.
    Called the kids “petrie dishes”.
    She ended up leaving after two years.
    There’s a rotten flu/cold going around. All it takes is a cough/sneeze and a grasp of a door knob.
    Personally I use any excuse to drink alcohol so I dont mind being sick.
    Got a cold? Rum.
    Flu? wine, beer, whatever.
    Sunny day? Beer.
    Any non curable disease? 100 year old Scotch purchased with a stolen credit card……..
    Dr. D to the rescue
    Stick yer tounge out and say “Ahhhhhhhhhh” :)-


    • Petrie dishes is putting too good a face on it. The little slime buckets literally ooze disease. Pestilence parading in pre-pubescent punk-packs. Gotta be part of a Darwin thing…
      ….now, as to the scotch part…………….? I’ll give it a shot.


      • Hmmmm a Darwinian disease hypothesis.
        The young eliminating the “competition” as it were.

        Well, if there’s a world wide epidemic, avoid kindergartens. And chicken farms.


  3. 35 years of teaching, every year Bronchitis in November, and colds off and on the rest of the year. Retired, have a grandson, repeat the colds but no more Bronchitis. Schools are great places to catch whatever is going around that you haven’t already caught. Germ sharing.


    • I have been to the edge of the abyss and it overlooks a sea of mucous! Death by mucous. Murphy’s cousin, Mucous really rules. And then there’s the pack of razorblades in my throat. Alas, poor Urich, we are about to meet.


  4. Now I know why you went for a nap in the middle of our tea with you. I thought it was just your usual charm and social graces. J R


  5. I hardly drop responses, but i did a few searching and wound up here Not much(cough,
    cough) | Off the Grid Living. And I do have some questions for you if you do not mind.
    Is it simply me or does it appear like a few of these remarks appear as if they are written by
    brain dead people? 😛 And, if you are posting on additional places, I’d like to keep up with anything
    new you have to post. Could you make a list of all of all your community sites like your linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter


    • No, SB, this is it. NO twitter. NO Facebook. No trust. And, as for the brain-dead? They are all great, actually. What you might be mistaking is that we all kinda know one another so the communication gets ‘short-hand’ and, to a new reader, it might seem odd. But these folks are all smarter than the average bear – no doubt about that. Well, there’s Ted…….
      I’d be happy to answer any questions: ask away. Better yet – buy the book or take it out of the library. Nice to hear from a new reader.


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