…from my season of politics.
It never really ends but even I can focus on other things now and again. That is part of what living OTG is all about – a chance to smell roses, a chance to dance in the spring (like the Jules Feiffer dancer below with Jules himself) or, for me, a chance to go weld something or hurt myself. Currently doing both these past few days. For Sally, it is currently quilting – quilting like a woman obsessed. Sally is the quilting version of the Jules Fieffer dancer.
But, I digress.
On to other things.
This time – another death. An acquaintance of mine just died at the age of 57. I didn’t like him much. In fact, I disliked him. Still do, actually. Funny, don’t you think? One would think that dying would be the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card but, in his case the jail remains locked, he just escaped those mortal bars earlier than I expected.
I won’t denigrate him too much more than I have already – simply by NOT mentioning his name. Just a guy I didn’t like. But I am writing about him because of two things: he died at 57. OhMyGawd! I am already 10 years older than that!
I just find that shocking, is all. His death – my reality check. Sheesh.
The second reason is that, even though he was a bad actor in my life, he was still an actor in my life. This guy occupied some of my life space. He was an influence. Like Darth Vader, to be sure, but still an influence. He gave lessons from the dark side. He caused trouble. To be fair, he caused a little trouble for me but he caused a lot for others and I was caught up and involved in trying to make things right. More than a few times. We were adversaries in a way. But it wasn’t personal. He was in the adversary business and I was in the solution business. Our paths crossed. And crossed. And crossed.
He was like a skin rash that just wouldn’t go away. Well, it was that way for at least a decade or so. NOW he has gone away. Now he is gone. And, to be fair, I haven’t really given him much thought for the last twenty years. So, I think he is well and truly gone for me. Now.
That’s the blog.
Just a reflection of how even the bad people fill in your life spaces. How things you want to go away never really go away. Even when they go away, they are still there in a weird kind of way. Memory. Experience. Scars. Victories. Losses. Stories.
I am not happy for his demise. I didn’t hate him. I could have happily gone through my life without ever having met him but, on the other hand, I will never forget the encounters, the stories, the lessons learned. In some twisted way, he is indelibly etched in my life and he is part of what makes me what I am. I am almost OK with that, even though it seemed so ugly at the time. Who would have thunk that a real-life Darth Vader-type would make such an impression?
And I am sure that someone must have loved him. I never met any of them but I know of one who liked him and they were friends. Inexplicable in the extreme for me. Still, even the dark side has friends, I guess. Someone misses him.
Maybe, in some small, twisted way I do, too. At the very least he was the enemy I knew.
I saw a t~shirt that said, “Does not play well with others” and I thought, ‘thanks for the warning.’ Spent many years solving problems for a professional association which was most instructive and educational. On reflection, I appreciated the education possibly as much as they regretted schooling me. I’ve often mused, “They must be paid by the lie!” They seemed not to realize that lies are impeaching.
I once worked as a property manager in an office building that had a lot of law offices , engineering firms, and financial advisors.
A lot of either total Type A personality “A-Holes” or consumate BS sales people.
Either way “their” problem required instant attention, instant results, the usual.
I finally came to the realization that the higher I jumped when these people barked…..they just barked louder.
So. My much easier route.
“Take a number. Everybody in this building wants a safe, clean, comfortable environment to work in and I cant please everyone instantly, all the time….”
To which one particularly Type A partner in a law firm who made everyones life miserable.( AND who was going through radiation and chemo at the ripe old age of 45
He sputtered indignantly, ” I’M a managing partner! I want this DEALT with NOW!”
I looked at his minor problem( a tiny quarter inch piece of paint in the far corner of the ceiling in his office was water stained…..) and I replied “You’ve got bigger things to worry about than that.”
He blinked at me several times and his shoulders dropped and he said, “Yeah, you’re right. Dont worry about it”
Less than 90 days later he was gone.
Karma? Who knows.
But when ever i see a blue german sports car like the one he owned I wonder if he was happy or just happy making other people miserable.
Not worth a second thought.
“Not worth a second thought….” I agree. But, to be honest about it, this dick-head got my attention, got more than just second thoughts (not all of them good) and filled a space in my continuum. That counts. I don’t know what it counts FOR, but it counts. And, for the record: DCinBC counts, too. Part of the picture. A better part.
Btw…both of you have the same first name.
Same first name? Gaaaaahhhhhhhhh!