Phoenix is a hotbed for snowbirds.  Literally.  Vast swathes of one-level double-wides in huge gated and walled ‘winter’ communities made up almost entirely of northern-state ‘Mericans and Canadians, they are populated 80% by people with grey or dyed blue/orange hair.  The other 20% are bald. They play cards.  They gather in clubhouses.  Some of the more spry ‘generians’ play golf.  But they all shop. And shop. And shop some more.

Sal is OK with that.  Me?  Not so much.  Yesterday we went to a crap-and-junk mart packed with people.  Today, we went to a craft and fabrics store in a mall as big as Central Park. After a painful twenty minutes spent looking at Styrofoam shapes, glue and sparkles, I found her and said, “So, sweetie?  You find what you were looking for?”

“Oh, I wasn’t looking for anything in particular.  Just looking, you know?”

“Oh.  Well, then…..have you seen it all?”

“No, only about half but I think we have to leave.”

Feigning reluctance and disappointment, I said, “Oh, really?  Shouldn’t you see it all….now that we are here, I mean?  Great sparkles and Styrofoam shapes over there…..”

“No.  It’s too much.  I have to come back better prepared.  We’ll need to have a truck.  I am going to be hours.  It’s gonna be big.”

“Unh, we do have a truck……”

“No.  I am gonna need days.  Multiple trips.  The fabrics are soooooooo cheap, so cheap.  I can see quilts in my head.  We are gonna need a lot of time….”

……………I am losing her……..



13 thoughts on “Strange

  1. I’m sure you have heard, “She with the most fabric wins!” Not sure what winning involves but I’m certain that you’ll recognize an opening here for having let’s say….. the most winches. Just saying. Now if you were the average ‘Merican it could end in more guns or more ammo or more beer. A door is opening for you so walk through it.


    • I said ‘winches’! Not wenches.

      For the record, given that I have preached lefty, bleeding-heart and anti-right politics for some time, please know that I am NOT in favour of an ‘open door’ policy either. The vast majority of all people around the world are just fine. I like ’em. I am pro-sanctuary. MOSTLY. Having said that, there are some bad hombres out there, too. I know that. Some. Not all. Further, some cultures have a helluva time switching values and morals to OUR WAY of life and no one needs the madness that ensues from that. It takes three generations for all immigrants to fit in at the very least. Some extreme cultures might take longer. So, why put them and us through all that? I think a real ‘fear of death or harm’ HAS to be responded to. Economic refugees? Not so much.

      Sifting the wheat from the chaff is not easy but good wheat is a valuable resource, not a burden.


      • You got that right! At my local doctor’s office it’s the UN for the doctors there. Great international doctors here as immigrants and Canada benefits because it was mega bucks to train these people but it was not on our dime. Russian trained doctors fluent in many languages looking to grab the golden ring.


        • While I totally agree with Canada’s immigration policies…
          We need immigrants because our population stopped having replacement babies a few decades ago.
          Our social programs will only be affordable if there are new workers paying taxes to sustain them.
          A few days ago at work I was in the back of the shop putting a large order together on pallets to load on a truck. The bay door was wide open, forklift parked in the middle of the shop, All the lights were on.
          I was in a dark corner of the warehouse picking inventory off a shelf when a man on a bicycle…..with a large , empty, duffel bag ….. and smoking a joint, road into the shop.
          He was rotating his head at 90 miles an hour and when he spotted the workbench with tools…..
          “Thats a BINGO!”
          Over he goes on his bicycle with me right behind him.
          “CAN I HELP YOU!?
          “Oh, yeah man, Im looking for work. Got any work?”

          I looked at his joint , his rolling eyes and said,
          ” Where are you from ?”
          “How long you been here’?
          “2 years”
          “Dont you think its time you started to look for a real job instead of stealing other peoples stuff”
          “Expletive Deleted”
          “Get out”…
          he left muttering about me, Canada , the world, whatever.

          As far as Im concerned. I dont care if he’s on an ISIS hit list.
          Send that criminal piece of garbage back to his country of origin.
          No appeals, no second chance….GONE
          Canada doesnt need MORE criminals….they cost us money.
          What we need are honest ,hard workers of which the 3rd world is FULL of that would be glad to be here.
          A 10 year ‘return policy” shouldnt be out of the question.
          If you break any criminal statute you’re on “deportation notice’ if you screw up 2 more times. Strike 3 …….. are…… out.
          No appeal, no endless lawyer gobbldygook.


          • You sound like a tough guy, DC. But I agree. New citizens should behave like GOOD citizens from the get-go. We ‘give ‘ them something. They have to ‘give’ back. And ‘return-to-sender’ should be the go-to solution if they do not. But……what if the guy is stealing bread and has three born-in-Canada kids…..whacha gonna do? I do not know the answer (I do, actually: every case has to be considered in the circumstance – no hard rules). But it has to start with a two year ‘suspended’ citizenship or something. Keep a clean nose and hold down a job and then, maybe, it’s a green card….for five more years….or something. I am pink. And my heart bleeds. But that does not mean I am stupid.


          • Not an expert on Canada’s existing laws regarding deportation to one’s country of origin for committing a criminal offence in while residing in Canada. This is a tricky area because some of the countries of origin are failed states and summary executions on the tarmac in the arrivals area besmirches Canada’s no kill policy. So countries with capital punishment or extrajudicial stuffings are out so where to send the miscreants? That is the rub.


  2. @Anonymous
    “so where to send the miscreants? That is the rub.”
    A Montreal massage parlour?


  3. I keep a running “US Shopping List” when I’m home. Then when we cross the border I gather up all the goodies I need (want?) to take back home. The Pacific Coastal people know our habits. They have to drag our bags off the plane and heave them onto the rack for us to retrieve. When we take those same suitcases back south, they lift them with one finger and smile. If we have a really big order, we drive of course. This trip there will be gardening supplies. Our Tucson will look like a low rider rolling through customs. – Margy


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