Have you ever lived inside a moho in the winter? In unceasing rain? On someone’s lawn? Have you ever lived with an invalid who really cannot move more than a few hundred feet? Who needs attending to? Have you ever had to be a care-giver when your more natural inclination is to just punch people in the face? Well, have ya, punk?
(OK, there is a dark side to care-giving. Who knew?)
I am NOT yet fully stir-crazy – not really – but I am shaken. That thin remaining thread of my civility is only because my cell mate is Sal, the loveliest person to have ever walked the planet. I have NOT punched her in the face. Not yet. I might have punched Mother Teresa by now, but not Sal. I have not even thought of punching Sal in the face (not yet, honest)….but, I must admit…I have often thought of punching the very NEXT person I meet in the face. That has to say something…..
….it means the staff of Save-On Foods better watch out.
This care-giving thing is….well, a bit of a challenge for me. Mostly because of the ^%$!#$&*! dishes! Sal is easier to give care to than anyone else but I am now getting ‘cooked’. I may even be verging on ‘burnt crisp’. Care? “I don’ stinkin’ care, amigo!” I am now fully capable of putting kids in cages. ICE should hire me. If ‘they need care’, I say. “Lock ’em up!” “Build the wall!”
Being a care-giver is NOT what it sounds like. It is NOT about care. It is, in truth, being a servant! It is ‘complete subordination’ to the eccentric whims of the invalid whether or not those whims are important or even necessary. “I need to quilt” means, take her to the fabric shop and help her buy fabric for quilts. AND then participate in the choosing of fabrics!!! “Be nice! Smile!” Care has been replaced by subservience. I am now just a ‘servant’, a ‘domestic’, a ‘toady’. I am a hand-maid.
Someone should write a book…..
I am not sure. I am afraid to look. But I think my dick fell off.
Sal is worth it. OF COURSE. She is great. Really great. I mean that totally. Sincerely. I love her dearly. Honest. And I am revealed as just another face-punching pig. Oink! I should be ashamed. And……..I am……….kinda……..but, you know…the species didn’t grow to dominate the planet by being care-givers now, did it? Right now I am feeling more of a bond with Ghengis Khan. Even Stalin. Florence Nightingale? Not so much.
I had no idea my veneer of ‘nice guy’ was so thin. (Well, actually, maybe I did.)
Sal is healing. It is wonderful. She is healing faster than the doctors expected. She is remarkable. A marvel. Truly. She seems to get more motivated by the day. Wants to go home. Doesn’t want me out in public (how considerate). I wonder what her exceptionally high level of motivation for ‘getting us out of here’ might be….?