Accepting new

The Amish of Pennsylvania have accepted and adopted the use of electric bikes. World Athletics has banned transgendered athletes from women’s competitions. Democrats continue to prevail over Republicans and Trump is imploding in slo-mo over several fronts. Even Major League baseball finally sped the game up with a ‘pitch-clock’. It would seem that sane change and reasonable outcomes are not entirely absent from our lives after all.

That is not to say that all is right with our world but sometimes into every hurricane a little sunshine must be found. And, right now, I am looking hard for some light…..

One of our family members passed this weekend. As planned. As scheduled. It was clearly the right thing to do and everything went as well as could be expected. The patient was great, the family and friends were great. The MAID doctor was perfect. The process was painless and quick. In a sense, it was as good a way to go as any.


The process, while logical, acceptable and humane, was not quite as easily processed (for me) as something closer to more ‘natural’ (or maybe familiar) might be. It is hard to accept the end of a person who was, just an hour or so ago, seemingly vital. It makes sense on a logic and fact-driven basis, of course, but it somehow does not compute emotionally or, forgive me, on a spiritual basis. There was something inside that chaffed in an unusual way.

It is mostly just my ‘constructs’, of course. We are all born as mostly empty blobs that get filled with…well, everything. And then, that is what we become and are…..little-blobs-of-our-era. But we also have a natural tendency to go find the fillings. Ambition, curiosity, intelligence and education combine with genetics, circumstance, other people and even the historical timeline to add variation to our very own ‘little blob’s’ mix.

We all have little mental constructs that we, ourselves, build from all that and put that in place as our own personal ‘blob’ foundation. It includes our approach to everything from expectations of Western living to gender interaction, from social institutions to what constitutes rich and poor. We are raised with Judeo-Christian values and morals, Protestant work ethics, Capitalism, fashionable fads, trends and lifestyles and even the languages we speak – it all influences our attitudes and perceptions. We are truly born with a blank slate and an open-learning attitude that society tries to fill-in from the very get-go. And it succeeds.

And the vast bulk of all that building material comes from past generations and even our current living situation which is seen through the older eyes of family, personal history and experience. We kind of look to the future with the constructs of the old. I do, anyway.

And then come the inevitable changes. Large and small. Technology is the latest new force of nature but there have been others from war to plague from religion to migration. We can expect even more from climate change. The only constant is change.

Social media threw a huge wrench into that always churning pool and, in so doing, created a real tempest in the collective perception of reality. Up is now down, down is now up. Lies are promulgated as truth despite facts proving otherwise. Men are becoming women, women are becoming men and many are choosing to be even further otherwise. The ex-president of the United States is a mafia don! Cheerleaders are being shot! The world has gone mad…or, at the very least, a lot of our mutually agreed upon constructs are being challenged.

I rant over much of that kind of stuff in my blogs. I feel the collective, huge, indefinable confusion, too. I feel the earth shifting under my feet. I am even somewhat emotionally unsettled, as well (not as much as many, tho, due to living OTG on a remote island that has a granite foundation).

But I never expected to be shaken and stirred over the concept and reality of death. If anything was a truly given, rock-solid premise it was death and, of course, taxes.

This weekend death showed up in an entirely different way. It was OK. It was right. It was correct in every way but one………..I just never felt it like that before.

10 thoughts on “Accepting new

  1. I’m sorry you find yourself in grief just now.

    There isn’t much to say …you have said it aloud to yourself already as you can.

    The taking of life it seems, even with rational and moral justification strikes at something fundamental. We are not programed for this given our histories as you describe. It counters something that is deep within us.



  2. Please accept my heartfelt condolences. Almost every living thing on earth has a β€œbuilt in” will to survive. I suspect this is encoded in DNA and would be very difficult to override on many levels.


    • Thanks, GM. And you may be right…on the one hand, the primal will to survive and, on the other hand, the awareness of the inevitable. And so we choose….. and choice is not an option 99.9999% of the time.


  3. Besides joining you in the continued swirling that is the witnessing of madness that passes for Life these days, I can only offer you my truly sincerest condolences, wishing that you and the loved one had said all that you wished to say to each other. I wish You, and Sal, peace.
    Oh, and Sunshine 🌞…
    for Us all. I hear it may yet come out sometime soon.πŸ€žπŸ™


  4. First of all our deepest and sincerest condolences with the loss of a loved one. Your message came across loud and clear, as it mostly does.
    As GM says, most of us have a very strong embedded will to live. Sometimes death comes sudden, sometimes announced, sometimes planned.
    I guess you have a very strong will to live, to learn, to fill that little blob to the point of bursting, always restless, always looking and seeking to fill your blob just a little more.
    But your loved one chose a planned path, something you and I might not chose (but one never knows what goes on in someones head or the suffering and pain), but we can’t do anything but accept and ride out the hurricane and wait for some sun to shine through the storm
    But in this day and age, our foundations are being attacked way to often, with iritually no time to do the necessary repairs
    Take care my friend, know that our thoughts are with you and Sal….


  5. Sad news Dave.
    I hope you and Sal can find a bit of peace in the decision the person arrived at.
    I lost two close family members in the last few months.
    One very slow and one very quick.
    Not a cheery Winter to put it mildly.
    No MAID options for either.
    Spring appears to finally be arriving after this endless rain and cold.
    At least the weather is something to lift your spirits….and the endless quest for….more logs to capture, carry and cut.


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