Noam Chomsky thinks…

….we are facing two main existential threats both complemented by a small coterie of side issues almost as dire. The side issues include the international (many examples) threat to Democracy, corruption, fentanyl, crime, social media and, of course, economics. The two main big threats are Climate Change and Nuclear War. Noam is no Rebecca of Sunnybrook these days. Noam looks a bit depressed, to be honest.

I, on the other hand, am feeling a bit better. The sun is shining, the commercial prawn trappers have left the area (having scoured it clean but it was a bad year all ’round, anyway). Our garden is growing and we have done little in the way of helping it do that. Feels like free veggies! But probably the main reason is my old friend, Ted. He and his wife, Lois, came to visit. Ted is 74. I have known him since he was 16. That is 58 years by my reckoning.

And we have been friends the entire time. That is not easy for anyone. It seems I can be obnoxious on occasion. I cannot deny it. In fact, I shot Ted twice and we are still friends.

The first time was when we were going to university and living in a city park as security against a gang of thugs that were terrorizing an East-end neighbourhood. Ted, in an effort to build a relationship with the delinquent youth put a few of them in his old Citroen one night and drove the car around the park following the paths, around the wading pool and was trying to hit warp speed as he exited just near the caretaker’s suite.

I, of course, being the responsible one, had advised him not to do that…“It only encourages them to do the same!” As he flew by, I grabbed his pellet gun and fired a shot into the half open window on the driver’s side hitting Ted’s ear. He yowled with pain, slew the car around a few trees and came to a sliding stop with is car nudged up against a big Cedar. He was not happy. “That’s what ya get for being bad, Ted!”

Still somewhat impressed by my own shooting skills, I was sitting on the kitchen table in the suite one day and considered shooting Ted again. No real reason. He was in the bathroom and had just stepped out of the shower. I was sitting on the kitchen table about twenty feet away and imagining where he would be standing now that he was out of the shower. The door was closed, of course, but I figured it might be possible to hit him if I shot the pellet right under the door. In exactly the right place. There was maybe a 3/4″ gap to the floor. I took the shot. About a second later another blood curdling yowl was heard from as far as two streets away. A wide-eyed and naked Ted appeared as the door opened and he yelled, “I just got bit by a snake! But I can’t find it.” And he ran out of the suite into the park with the towel not performing it’s intended function.

Friends like that are hard to find.

We have stories. Lots of stories. Great stories.

The visit was good. I mean, I have to ‘pat him down’ for firearms before gathering everyone into our boat but, other than that logical caution, it was a great few days.

12 thoughts on “Noam Chomsky thinks…

  1. I have a friend like that! Known one another for 68 years. For some unknown reason I shot him in the foot, with a dart in a pellet gun. Musta hurt like the devil! Upon meeting my daughter for the first time last week, that’s the first thing he told her.


  2. There is nothing like Old Friends!
    And even though I’m not that old a friend, I’m not too far off. Looking forward to seeing you soon..


  3. While I admire the blinders you are wearing, the commercial prawers are still very much in the Surge Basin. At least 3 lines(300) traps pulled daily. I guestimated 40 pcs per trap as they pulled, with 10 ish tossed back, so 9000 prawns a day removed from our area, (that boat is double licensed so another 200 traps somewhere else) it will continue for a minimum of 3 weeks more, they have been here for 10 days, about $900,000.00 at $1.00 per tail(retail is about $2.00 per tail). Only good thing is that some of that money will stay here as wages and local suppliers. Much will go to global corporations as fuel, financing that hugely expensive boat


    • You are right. They seemed to miss a day (within my eyesight) and I concluded incorrectly they had left. I see the bastards as I write. I d not hate them. They just TAKE TOO MUCH!


    • Mike had trouble commenting (Word Press can screw up) but he wrote: I enjoyed your story about your friend, Ted. I had two such friends like that, one has since died, the other ,I go for daily walks with. I think we are lucky to have such friends.


      • I agree, Mike. It’s the goofy humour….but, get this….last night I said something that prompted Sal to say (almost with the right voice) a Ted joke. It sounded just like him. I cracked up. Sal had learned TED humour, dished it out and the two of us were howling with glee.


          • Bit of work to do, then? Figurative language usually requires extra words, Mike. Ya gotta learn to spill your guts. Go on and on and on. Then a friend will shoot ya while you are taking a shower. Voila! Humour!


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