We have about 120 sft of plantable area in our several garden boxes. We always (like the fools we are) plant seeds, add fertilizer, seaweed, compost, water and worms and stand back and watch the garden boxes grow to resemble, in miniature, the Gobi desert. So then, after angsting for a couple of weeks, Sally races around and buys ‘starters’. Starters result from other people planting seeds and adding fertilizer and standing around like we had….BUT they get ‘starters’. We have to do all that nonsense and then go buy starters from those who did what we did. I find that annoying.

So, I do NOT garden. I will build garden boxes til the island is covered with ’em. I will fill ’em with dirt. I will haul seaweed and peat moss and buy worms-in-the-mail but I will not touch the actual plants until they are old enough to be dinner. The growing part drives me nuts because…well, they do not grow for me.

They do not grow all that well for Sally either. We can’t seem to start-from-seed. We are good at adopting babies and raising then to be good little plants but seeds defy us. Oddly, Sally does have a very green thumb when it comes to very odd plants. She grew a Rosemary bush that rivals our local Douglas Firs. She grew a fig tree that has basically taken over one garden box. And she can grow Marigolds and Poppies like they were in a Gro-Op. But nothing she grows is really anything meal-size edible. So far the best she has done on the edible scale is Rosemary.

There is one exception. Sal has a knack for ‘attracting’ volunteers. Last year she must have left a few potatoes in the garden undiscovered and this year one of the boxes EXPLODED with potato plants that are incredible!!!

This year we even invited a gardening expert who loved our garden (layout of boxes) and had a great time planting seeds and being a very positive force in our garden of GOOD and EVIL. She left after a few days waxing descriptive about the jungle of plants and plethora of riches soon to arrive. She went back to her home and garden and did the same there. Today, she is awash in green veggies.

We are buying starters.

It is incumbent on OTG’ers to grow a garden. T’is expected. De rigueur. “First ya buy yer red plaid jacket. Then ya get in yer garden. Then ya get in yer wood. Then you harvest your garden and finally, ya burn your wood. It’s the way of things OTG.”

But I have long advocated for storing up on canned goods instead. Dried beef powder. Dried chicken powder. Dried milk powder. Dried soup. Any kind of dried powder in tins. THAT was NOT my first choice. At first, I had hopes and aspirations. My first choice is a lovely garden spilling with Bok choy, broccoli and Mizuno lettuce. Maybe a few cherry tomatoes and, of course whatever kind of potatoes that seem to visit, settle in tend to themselves. But I get discouraged by gardening and getting zilch.

I am turning my attention to the marine ways.