Numbers way off.  Down by 50%.  From 6 to 3.  Well, to be more honest, from 400 to 200.

That’s odd, don’t you think?  I mean, what makes a regular reader NOT read?

One idea might be worth thinking about…

We aren’t the real thing?

A recent book review from a stranger was not all complimentary (several of the book reviews on Amazon are from friends and they are notorious for that – being friends and saying nice things).  The less-than-glowing review was still OK.  They admitted to laughing (which was the main point of the book) but they felt that we were not hardy enough.  Not enough how-to-be-sustainable content.  Not enough grubbing about for grubs and that kind of thing.

This reviewer pointed out that we were not really off-the-grid.  NOT really.  It seems we are just pretenders.  We are just not self sufficient enough.  We rely too much on Save-On by way of the ferry service and other assorted cushy behaviours.  All of which is true, actually. We are still dependently connected by way of ‘forms’ of-the-grid even if you just count the ferry and the internet.  And, despite increasing our foraging and farming, we still need to buy most of our food from the store.

We’re pathetic, really.  It’s embarrassing.

So, in that sense, they are right.  We are not so much off-the-grid as on-the-cusp.  It is just that a book titled ON THE CUSP kind of lacks conviction, don’t you think?  Like, we are hesitating or reluctant or something.

Which, of course, we are.  We don’t really wanna rough it any more than we do.  It’s hard enough as it is out here on the cusp for two spoiled city brats. Neither Sal nor I are big fans of grubs as protein rather than rib-eye.  So the critic is right again.

Maybe I am losing readers because we just don’t represent the true off-the-grid lifestyle as defined by those who really know their stuff?  Because, let us be clear: we do not really know our stuff.  We are still learning stuff and we will likely be learning stuff even decades into the future even while we are still shopping at Save On.  Rustic-to-the-bone, we are not.  Hell, we might be still learning even then about how to shop at Save-ON better.  Who knows where the learning will take you?

So, for the record: we live off the grid but just by a few miles by sea.  We are remote but by city standards, not so much by rural ones.  We are hardy by city standards, not so much by rural ones. There are no roads we can use near our home but there is a logging road not too far away and we use it now and again.  Our own electrical and water systems are pretty independent, though, even by the critic’s standards.

We likely generate 10% of our own foodstuffs but that increases to 15% in the summer. Everything is cooked from scratch – no processed, packaged, frozen or restaurant meals for us!  Aaaarrgh!  There are no stores of any kind for ten miles and no stores that are full-service for 30 and it takes two hours to cover that distance.  We have no fire or police protection although the Coast Guard is pretty damn good when you need them.  As are the few neighbours around.

So, I should change the title?  Our Life On the Cusp?  Living Near Convenience?

Living Off Cold Camembert and Stale Crackers?

A Pizza Too far?

I have to fix something so that I can replace it.  Doesn’t that seem odd to you?

My boat steering seized up and I can’t turn.  Or, better put; I can’t straighten the trajectory in which the boat is currently aimed.  I can just go in circles.  Which is strangely familiar in a psychological kind of way……

And, wouldn’t you know it…..I am fixed in a tendency to go center-left.  Round and round. Big, large, slow circles.  Like my politics.

So, anyway, The cable had to be taken off and all that.  Steering wheel detached.  Engine detached.  Cable withdrawn from nooks and crannies.  Everything lubed and goobed til it was all slick and slidy.  And then Sal and I put it all back together again.  And, even tho we are not quite done, we have bench tested it some and it is likely to work.  In theory, anyway.  Only two days into it.  Third day, today.  If it stops pouring.  We’ll see how it goes.  Just a few more hours of squiggling into narrow places (Sal) and tightening various things (me) and so we are partially optimistic that the job is done.  But it will not be 100%.

Despite all our work, the gear slips in the housing-thingy.  There is a gear that turns inside a toothed ring and that ring turns the cable that, in turn, turns the engine when, well, the steering wheel is turned.  Or so it is designed.  But, if the toothed gear is worn, it slips. And mine is worn (old) and it slips.  It is clear:: no matter how slippery the cable, I will need a new steering housing-thingy.

That’s OK.  I can do that.  We can do that, I mean.  We can get a thingy and replace the old one.  The catch, tho, is that one has to travel to get thingys and, right now, our travel is limited to the circular.  We can’t get there from here.  It’s a sea-pickle.

Of course, that is why you have TWO boats – so that you can always go get thingys for the other boat.  But, of course, you don’t want to run to town for every little thingy.  You want to get the lot of them all at once (they tend to accumulate as a list on the fridge) for when you are next planning on going to town. Mind you, the ‘other’ boat is not big enough to get all the list of thingys and the list of food and stuff and so, once again, you are in a bit of a pickle.

For the want of a nail, the kingdom was lost.

We wouldn’t want that.

So, the goal is to get the steering good enough to go to town so as to get the parts to replace it.

Is it just me?  Or does that (all that work over three days just to chuck it) not seem just a bit odd to you, too?

It occurs to me that Bill C-51 and other draconian bills being introduced by Herr Harper might actually be a good sign.  These acts may just be the manifestations of a frustrated bully…?

For some time now, the trappings of power have yielded less actual power.  Heads of state, ministers of departments, even armies have had less effective control on the world’s commoners.  Social media, growing democracies, the internet as a whole and the lifting of trade barriers has galvanized freedom of speech and freedom of movement and organization even where such acts are still officially forbidden.  Basically, the masses are revolting in so many ways from illegal migration to terrorism to underground economies and phenomena such as Arab Spring and Occupy that it constitutes a world-wide revolution of sorts.

The current and most visible revolution in Canada is being led by First Nations – they are just about reaching de facto leadership status on many issues.  They sue the government all the time – over fisheries and oceans, natural resources, oil pipelines tanker traffic and the list just keeps growing.  FNs are leading the fight.  And they are doing a good job!

What is a good tyrant to do in the face of that?  Why bolster their trappings of power at the very least.  And I think that partly explains Harper’s stupid and heavy handed attempts at garnering more power – he fears he is losing what he has.

Let’s face it, a lot of what our so-called leaders claim has been proven false and further, what they have promised has not been forthcoming.  More and more the government is looking weaker and weaker.  Ergo, they feel the need to get a new bunch of uniforms and arms and ‘show the flag’ and strut about…well, Syria, for instance.  Maybe rattle a sword at Russia.  Declare war on some vague, unsubstantiated enemy like women wearing masks….or something.  Preach fear.  Claim to be a hero.

There was that whole embarrassment (I was embarrassed and they SHOULD have been embarrassed) over the in-the-media glorification of John A MacDonald and the War of 1812 and the Franklin Expedition – flag-waving and boosterism like the Americans do that basically fell flat with Canadians.  Same was true of the sensationalizing of a few, poor, twisted weirdos-with-guns as terrorists.  That didn’t fly with most Canadians either. Neither did Christy Clark’s hysteria over all-the-Nuttals with pressure cookers.  Canadians are just NOT buying the message of fear as much as Harper wants.

We didn’t buy Enbridge either.  Northern Gateway is in mothballs.  Keystone got shelved. It all should be declared DOA but that slippery Frankenstein will likely try to stumble through a few more villages in the night a few more times.  Where does one buy stakes and silver bullets anyway?  And what about Clark’s promises of billions from LNG?  Poof!

They have lost all credibility with us.

My point: even though government is getting more Orwellian all the time, it may just be a sign that people are revolting more and more and in different ways.  And by different means.  We don’t seem to vote (or believe) in elections but we vote on social media – as one small example.  Those in power can ‘feel‘ their actual power ebbing and are vainly trying to keep what power they thought they had by buying more epaulets, issuing more medals for more police/soldiers and drafting more paperwork for parliament.

I don’t think it is going to work for them.   It is hard for even the most tyrannical state to impose their will on the people.  Even the worst of the bully dictators holes up in a palace and stays off the streets most of the time.  The hoi polloi go about their daily business even in Russia, Zimbabwe and North Korea.  You can’t keep your jackboots on the throats of everyone all the time.

Leadership cannot be taken, it can only be willingly given.

Oppression and bigotry, greed and environmental irresponsibility are not leadership qualities we respect and we seem to be rejecting them in our quiet Canadian way.  We are taking away Harper’s power.  Keep it up, folks. Maybe we can put this era of error behind us soon.

First whales of the season today.  Five or six Orcas.  Cruising slow.  Pffft.  Pffft.  Pffft.   Neat. Always nice to see ’em.

Friend called last night.  “Wanna do some millin’?  I got some logs here and I heard that you want some cedar.  Wanna help work ’em into lumber?  I’ll give ya some cedar?”

“Sure.  Do we have to do it in the rain?  Can we do it when it’s convenient?  Will your wife make us tea and cookies?”

“Never mind.  I’ll do it myself!”

“What about the cookies?”

Another friend called later.  Some bad news.  Cancer.  I hate that.  I just hate that.  I just really, really hate that.  I suppose I would hate hearing any kind of bad news about anyone I care about but it just seems so awful when it happens to someone who lives life so fully as he does.  He probably still will.  They have it ‘in hand’ early.  He’s a tough old bird.  Fill ‘im full of chemicals, radiate the hell out of him and he will likely be good to go.  I just hope he goes in the right direction.  Same direction as the one I am planning on.  We both wanna go forward a bit longer.  I was kinda hoping that we could travel this mortal coil some more together….like 30 or so more years.

We’ll hafta see about that.

I have no intention of bumming you out.  Lots of good stuff going on.  I’ll get to it as the seasons unfold.  But, right now, I am reminded once again of our fleeting-ness.  Our brevity of being.

Pffft.

I’ve lost a few friends these past few years.  Inevitable, I guess.  Life.  Getting to 67 means lasting longer than some.  Can’t complain about something you know is a fact.  We all have to go.  Sometime.  No, the point is NOT about death  (I really expect him to make it a lot longer.  I really expect ME to make it a lot longer, too) it is about life.

Both Sal and I have been struck recently by how fast it is passing.  Like a blink, actually. So, don’t wait for it to happen.  Get on with it.  Follow a dream.  Chase a rainbow.  Don’t let TV or too much dull work take any more of your time.

OMG, am I glad Sal and I have done stuff.  Even the stupid stuff.  ESPECIALLY the stupid stuff!  And I really intend to do more of it, stupid or otherwise.   And I am especially glad we didn’t wait to do it.  We didn’t wait til we were supposed to retire.  We didn’t wait til 65.  We didn’t wait until we were ‘secure’ financially or otherwise.  We are wingin’ it on a prayer! (well, to some extent, anyway…no sense in being too silly)

I have no idea what the point of it all is but I can assure you that it is NOT about watching TV or punching a clock. Or shopping!  Or RRSPs!  Whatever it is, we both feel that we are closer to it living out here doing this than we have ever been.

The key word in the phrase living off the grid is L-I-V-I-N-G.

This is good.  Really good.  It is ALL good.  Did I mention the whales?  The cookies?  And my plans to do some millin’?  It really does NOT get any better!

In Canada, more people are killed by moose (car accidents) than are killed by terrorists (in 2014 alone, 450 people were injured and five people killed just in BC).

In fact, no one in Canada has been killed by a terrorist.  Admittedly, a few disaffected, disillusioned and isolated nut-bars have inflicted a few casualties on random citizens but bona fide, card-carrying terrorists?

None.

The current media focus and parliamentary debates would suggest that we are over-run by Islamic fundamentalists.  Why is that?  Why is our attention being focused on something non-existent or slight at the very worst?  Why is our (and our parliamentarian’s) attention not focused on basic infrastructure, hospitals, schools and constructive issues?

Why do we tolerate the murder, mayhem and general lawlessness in some parts of the country (like, Surrey) and instead focus on people wearing scarves on their heads?

Seven out of ten Canadians recently polled were dead set against that single Muslim woman wanting to wear a niqab during the citizenship swearing in ceremony.  Why?  That woman was required to show her face for all the official documenting.  She had to be officially revealed to the officials time and time again during the real citizenship vetting process. All she wanted to do was be culturally correct (for her) in the swearing-in CEREMONY.  Why do we seem to care so much about that one Muslim woman and NOT about the thousands of homeless people?

I recently received an e-mail from a friend.  A nice person.  It was a forwarded e-mail rant from some bigot that she agreed with.  It was all about Islam and Muslims and Nazis and Jews and how we have to watch out for all that kind of thing.  But there was no mention of Bill C-51 that gives the Feds unlimited surveillance and arrest powers.  There was no warning for us of ever-encroaching Orwellian-type politics in OUR government.  She is afraid of Muslim women in niqabs but not CSIS and the RCMP who seem to shoot, assault and taser people rather willy nilly in my view.  Why is that?  She’s not stupid as a rule……why is she fearing non-threats and NOT fearing real ones?

Let me be blunt: if you are going to be afraid, be afraid of real threats, not the bogey-men of the media, not the monsters-under-the-bed as described by our government. You want a threat?  Try climate change.  Try Bill C-51.  Watch out for U.S. Homeland Security coming to a front door near you some time soon.  You want a real threat?  Go to a hospital and have an operation without getting C-difficile (the mini-epidemic in our hospitals).  Try NOT paying your taxes!

“Isn’t there a real threat from ISIL?”

I guess.  I don’t really know.  I do know that I do not trust the government or the media to tell me the truth.  But let’s assume for a minute that ISIL is a real threat.  And we have to spend millions of dollars bombing Syria so as to protect ourselves.  OK, fine.  But is a niqab the uniform of an ISIL fighter?  I don’t think so.  Does CSIS and the RCMP need more controls over 35 million Canadians so as to catch a single mad-man running around with a checkered scarf and pressure cookers?  I don’t think so.  How have these thousands of armed and uniformed guardians of our country fared with the dumber-than-dirt drug-selling goofballs in Surrey?  The answer: NOT so good.

I do not rely on the RCMP for my own personal safety.  They might ask questions of witnesses later, after the fact, but how are they going to protect me from a nut-case before he or she blows a gasket?  It’s not possible.

Bottom line: we are being misled.  I have no idea why.  Maybe fear-mongering is good for business.  Maybe it is good for politics.  I don’t know.  But one thing is for sure: we are being misled. We are being lied to.  We are being made afraid of bogey-men when there are more important things to worry about.

Like those damn moose, for instance!

A friend wanted a summary of what our off-the-grid electrical system was.  So, I wrote him.  Sal said, “You should make a blog of it!’

“But I have said all this before!”

“Not so succinctly.  Do it!”

So, here goes: the system is: batteries, cable, inverter/charger, charge controller, relay and a tower (of sorts).

Batteries first – I have 12 of them. All the same size.  All the same age.  12 volts.  200 amps each.  8D’s are the designation.  Of the cheaper class, L-16’s are better.  Mine are very cheap at $150.00 each and they will live for about 7 years.  Surettes are expensive and will last 20.  But everyone ruins their first (and usually second) batch of batteries so go cheap for the first few years while you learn their ‘nature’ and the situation in which they live and function.

Batteries are almost sentient.  And they are eccentric to say the least.  My 12 are divided in 3 groups of 4.  Each group of four is wired in series to give 48 volts at 200 amp-hours. Then the three groups are wired in parallel to give 48 volts at 600 amp-hours. At our rate of usage, that will give us 3-4 days without a charge (from sun or generator).  Longer if we stayed with just lighting-only but we have screens and computers and all sorts of little ‘drains’ (like cell phone and computer batteries and such).

There is now a hole in my life when there are no comments in the comments section.  I have managed to generate a few friends by way of this blog and we connect by way of the comments section so, when it goes awry, the friends disappear. And I miss ’em.  I think I fixed it now so all three of you can be in touch again.  Whew! 

Spring is fix-it time.  Things need attention.  Of course, the garden is the most obvious and most alluring attention-seeker but the boats need maintenance, the gutters need cleaning and usually the systems need some attention as well.  And so, spring clean-up is now underway – albeit glacially.

When we first arrived, everything was good.  But a quick inspection revealed that the batteries needed topping up and so did a few terminals need cleaning up.  Water and gas seemed fine so we turned our attentions to other things like cleaning the gutters and addressing some boat chores.  As it turned out, we didn’t notice the dog NOT barking. Translation: our water system operates with a constant stream from the hose in the creek. That constant stream creates a slight water-hose-filling-the-cistern sound in the background.  We know water is flowing simply by listening carefully.  But, of course, we forgot that, and didn’t listen and have now just discovered that the water must have stopped running sometime well in the past.  Our cistern is empty and we are dry.

And this may be a good thing.

We put the cistern in – under the house – at the time of construction.  It is 1100 gallons and the tank is 7 feet in diameter and about four feet in height with a bulge on top that frames an access hatch that is maybe 20 inches in diameter.  A child could slip in through that hole, I could not.  Naturally we placed the access hatch directly under a floor joist so that there is precious little access to the access hatch.  A foot either way and there would have been another twelve inches of entry angle but, as it is, there is only about 12 inches or so now.  Twenty-four would have been good.  Twelve is tough.

Since the house was built we have, naturally, flowed thousands of gallons from the creek through the cistern and into our plumbing system.  As a consequence river-silt has built up on the floor of the cistern.  But the cistern is usually full of water and we need to use that water all the time so we have simply lived with the silt-up.  But we figured that some day we would have to clean it out.  That day seems like NOW.

Sally is less humongous than I am.  So Sally goes into the tank.  IF she can.  Assuming, that with enough Vaseline, we can slip her in, she will be in a four foot high black tank standing in several inches of silt and having to scoop it all up in a bucket which she will pass out to me for dumping in the garden. Light will have to come by way of a headlamp. Clothing will be restricted to a bathing suit.  Claustrophobia will become her friend.  Egress will be more difficult than access and even access is questionable.  I haven’t yet figured out we can get her out from the position she will be in.  She may have to live there.

Well, to be more accurate, I haven’t yet figured out how I can convince her to get in to the tank in the first place. Getting out is academic at this point.  We may have to go to plan B. And, so far, there isn’t one.  I’ll keep you posted.

Town day.  All the logistical challenges you already know about and then some.

Pleasant surprise: we had a short appointment to meet a couple who wants to give OTG living a try.  Nice people.  Capable.  They’ll do well. The interesting part is that they have been reading this blog and it helped encourage their OTG feelings.  Seems we have been a bit of an influence! Sheeesh!  I usually have to get people drunk to influence them.  So, for sure, the influence of this blog has been very slight and they are inclined this way on their own but we may have played a minuscule part.

That will be my defense if I have to go to court, anyway.  

In fact, I know that to be true.  As it turns out they have been living the OTG lifestyle even while technically on the grid.  Like I said before, OTG is a mind-set more than a location and, in their case, their having lived a long time in an RV is pretty much living part of the OTG lifestyle. You may rely on the grid while RV’ing but you are unplugged and more independent than is the condo dweller.

But I have been thinking…..living OTG is an inevitable off-shoot of the grid getting bigger and more popular.  As gazillions move TO the city, it is a natural and inevitable fact that some will move in the OPPOSITE direction.  It is the way of all life.  Most go one way, a few strike out differently.  It’s Darwinism.  Evolution.  Even Newtonian physics is at play..’for every action, there is an opposite and equal reaction.’  I have no delusions that OTG’ing is even close to equal but it is definitely opposite.  My guess is the inevitable and natural urban backlash is showing up in OTG’ing and many other places, as well.

On another note…………I was on the deck at 9:00 pm last night.  Black as pitch.  No moon. No stars. But it was quiet.  Very quiet. Mausoleum quiet.  And then, NOT!  I heard something out on the water that I had never heard before.  It was a cross between a call or bellow and a heavy cough.  It was regular but not exactly rhythmic.  The timing was like that of a dolphin that breathes when it surfaces but can vary the time in between.  But the sound was coming from something much larger – like the size of a sea lion.  But it wasn’t a sea lion (I have heard them).  It wasn’t any sea creature I had ever heard before so I wondered if it was a bear or an elk or something big that was swimming between islands.

But it was NOT just regular breathing – so why would a large mammal swimming make calling or bellowing sounds?

Sal listened, too.  “No idea.  Strange.  But it does not seem to be in distress.  I think, therefore, that is has to be comfortable enough in the water.  Probably a sea creature of some sort.  Maybe an otter?”

“Too loud and deep-pitched to be an otter.”

Mystery.

The other day, late in the afternoon – while we were working outside – we heard a wolf pack announcing a kill on the opposite island.  They howled back and forth for maybe fifteen or twenty minutes.  It was loud, piercing and, like always, made the hair on the back of your neck stand up.  And it was in day-time which is unusual for us.  We usually hear the wolves at night.  Magic.

So, what is the point?  Nothing much.  Just our environmental sounds.  Or the lack of them.  Quiet, mostly. The bliss of blessed silence and then the magic of different, mostly natural sounds.  We ‘hear’ more out here.  We rely on our hearing in ways that we don’t in the city.  Of course, we are still much more visual animals than we are olfactory or hearing reliant but the percentage changes when you are out here.  Hearing and smell assume slightly larger roles in our sensory lives.  It’s subtle as a rule but not last night.  Last night it was all centre-stage aural.  It was all in the ears.

What a great place to live, eh?

It is not often I get a chance to remain true to the topic of off-the-grid living and still indulge my penchant for politics except, of course, where I make a force fit.  This time I don’t have to.

“Last year was the first year in which global investment in renewable energy was larger than investment in fossil fuels. We are nearing the tipping point. So while our prime minister shills for a pipeline to the Gulf of Mexico to ship out unprocessed bitumen, global investors are shifting their bets. Canada is the only country on earth not a member of the International Renewable Energy Agency. Maybe Harper and company haven’t noticed these reports. Maybe Christy Clark hasn’t realized the long-term bet on LNG is a bad bet for BC. But Canadians better start noticing that betting on fossil fuels is not only stoking the furnace on future climate disasters; in purely economic terms, it’s stupid.” Elizabeth May – Green Party of Canada

It is interesting to note that oil prices (wholesale) are down because of over-supply.  Yes, gasoline prices are up but that is more a statement of corporate and government greed than it is supply and demand.

So, why is there – all of a sudden – a glut on oil?  Who knows?  But Elizabeth May makes the observation that the price of solar has more than halved (60% less than five years ago).  And I see the price drop more dramatically because I pay (retail) a dollar-a-watt today where I paid $5.00-a -watt ten years ago. Factor in inflation and ‘future cost’ of money and all that other economic hocus pocus and I pay LESS than one fifth of what I paid ten years ago.  And she claims that such a price drop is making solar competitive with oil.  She claims it is more than competitive for some (like me) and so those folks not only choose to go solar, they are also NOT buying as much oil.  

It is counter-intuitive in the extreme and contrary to what economists would say but low oil prices might just be an indication of increased use of green-energy.  

She thinks we are at the tipping point.  And she says the tipping point has already been tipped in Asia.  Those emerging societies with a gazillion small entrepreneurs have shifted more significantly to solar and wind than were ever expected. The little guy is leaving the petroleum club.

I doubt that it is that simple.  But I don’t really know anything.  I just know my feelings, my instincts and the great confusing mish-mash that comes from a bunch o’ reading.  And they are all suggesting that she may be right.  We just might already be making the transition…?

Many famous environmental commentators from Stewart Brand to Paul Hawken think we are, too.  They believe that ‘change’ is happening at the personal, grass roots and mini-community level. They cite the 100 mile diet, slow food, Blockadia, social media and a plethora of other examples including solar and conservation to suggest that we are all, slowly, smartening up.

‘Course the leaders aren’t.  The leaders got where they got NOT by leading but by sucking up and following the How-to-Suck-Up-for-Success Rule-Book (for Dummies).

Real leadership doesn’t come from the establishment but from the Malcom Gladwell-type Outliers.  The problem with the currently recognized Gladwells is that he is reporting on Outliers from three decades ago (i.e. Bill Gates).  The outliers of today have yet to be recognized.  Even Elon Musk is somewhat behind the cutting edge because – by cutting edge – we mean ‘experimental’ and, even though Elon Musk is committed to being there at the experimental front, being a gazillionaire takes a lot of ‘establishment’ time as well.  But his engineers are up there.  Musk is a leader and an outlier.  One of the few.

So, what is my point?  Simple, really.  OTG is not necessarily catching on (people still moving to the city in hordes) but living cleaner, healthier and more independently is. Just as we are open to smarter phones, we are showing interest in smarter living.  We are all trying to make a difference even if our so-called leaders are walking the wrong path.  Just maybe all those small-fry still choosing to live urban can add to the revolution by putting solar panels on their roof.

And then the green movement will really get some legs.

“Blog’s kinda off the main topic these days, don’t you think?” Neighbour BIG Doug and I were getting together to discuss him delivering some lumber over the next few weeks for the little projects I have planned.

“Yeah.  Did my usual bit about the city again.  Some stuff about the book.  A few rants.  I have strayed from the original theme, no doubt about it.  You wanting more rants or more off-the-grid stuff?”

“No rants.  Had enough.  And you can skip the ravens.  I am sick of them, too.  Bloody nuisance, they are.  Figure out a way to get rid of them without killing them and write a book about that!”

“Geez, no rants, no ravens.  Waddya readin’ for?”

“Don’t got no TV, do I?”

“You don’t got no cedar, either!”

“No.  Right.  Sorry.  Might cut some.  Probl’y not.  Lots of hemlock and fir, tho.  Cuttin’ some alder soon.”

“Why alder?”

“Louie wants flooring.”

“I want cedar.”

“Louie’s mill.”

And that is the way it is out here.  Louie owning the mill determines what gets milled.  Fair enough.  Not a market driven economy, to be sure, but fair.  I’ll build out of fir instead of cedar.  Some decisions are made for you.

Well, that is not quite true.  The outdoor shower has to be cedar.  HAS to be.  And I’d like the greenhouse frames to be made of cedar, too.  Less worry about rot.  So, I may have to ‘negotiate’ with big D who lives near BIG Doug.  Big D (smaller than BIG Doug but still big) is a lumber hoarder.  He always has dimensions of everything.  Like a mini-custom home depot except WITHOUT any crap wood.  Plus it runs in the family and his cousin up the way has some, too.  One way or the other I’ll whinge my way into some cedar.

And I have the time.  It’s not like I work fast.  Hardly work at all, really.  Haven’t done a thing since we schlepped back home last week.  Peeled potatoes.  Poured wine.  Chose the last cheap B flick.  That’s about it……

I’ll likely keep the GDP (Gross Dave production) to that lightning pace until the barge comes with all my ‘new’ tools.  And if this sloth continues, I may just use them as barter for getting others to do my work!  Ha!  Only kidding.  No one can do my work (‘cept Sal) cause I don’t have plans.  I wing it. You hafta read my mind to know what I am going to do next.  Tough enough for Sal to do and she doesn’t always get it right.

Which is annoying.

Anyway, I couldn’t part with any of that stuff and I haven’t even gotten my hands on it yet. Tool anticipation is a crazy thing.  A bit like being horny but not quite.  Weird.

Here’s something weird: This is DFO for ya…………..

Our area is closed to ‘fin fishing’ until sometime soon (that is why I was online reading the regs and getting my license) but even when it is open, it is closed to rockfish.  They were fished out years ago and, like all DFO managed species, they close the area AFTER the species is wiped out.  Brilliant.

So, anyway, no rockfish.  Fine.  I get it.

But then the regulations read: (something like) “Should you inadvertently catch a rockfish while fishing for other species, the fish will not be able to recover from being hauled up from the depths.  You may as well keep it.  And be sure to eat it, ’cause you can’t use it for bait – that is against the law!”

“Unh….I thought catching rockfish was against the law?”

IT IS!  TOTALLY PROHIBITED!  WE’LL CONFISCATE YOUR FAMILY IF YOU DO THAT!”

“But…you said….if…I catch one by accident….I should eat it…? If I eat it, doesn’t that mean I have to take the little blighter (biter) in my boat and you might catch me with it and then confiscate my family?”

YES.  YOU ARE CAUGHT BETWEEN A ROCK AND A HARDPLACE.  LIKE THE ROCKFISH.  YOU ARE HOOPED EITHER WAY.  THIS IS THE GOVT. OF CANADA MANAGING YOUR FISHERIES AND, AFTER C-51, WE WILL APPLY THIS KIND OF LOGIC TO MANAGING YOU!

If only the rockfish could slip away as freely as my rants do, eh?