Phone is kaput.  Seems Rogers has never had coverage here.  Imagine that!  My previous six years of service were ‘just a fluke’.  I got that answer from Chun, he of the Rogers website ‘chat line’. 

“Well, Chun.  I can accept that.  I am basically a very lucky person to have had that non-service for so long, you know?  Mind you, Rogers still billed.  Even better, I finally got you to help me with my new problem, didn’t I?”
“Pardon?”
“Never mind.  What do you propose for a guy who has had his phone service disrupted?  Can Rogers realign the towers or something.  Is the system down?  Am I not paying you people enough?”
“Pardon?”
“Chun!  You with me on this?  This is simple stuff.  My phone does not work.  You are there to help.  Work with me on this.  Can you fix it?  You seem a little spaced out, you know?  I am not feeling the love.”
” I am sorry sir.  Will there be anything else?”
“No disrespect, Chun, but could you transfer me to a supervisor?  I need some help here and I don’t think you are up to the task.  Forgive me”.
“Pardon?”
“Supervisor, Chun!  SUPERVISOR!!!  GET ME SUPERVISOR!!”
“Please call 1-800-Rogers, sir, for supervisor.”
“Chun, my phone does not work.  That is why I am on the web chat.  I told you that.  How can I phone the supervisor if I do not have a phone?”
“I am sorry, sir, if you do not have a phone, I cannot help you.  You should contact Rogers and subscribe.”

Every day Sally and I give thanks to the almighty for delivering us from the madness that is the ‘system’.  NOT having the phone wouldn’t bother me in the least if it weren’t for Ben and Em.  We are their parents.  We want to be there for them.  At their convenience, of course.  Wouldn’t want to interfere or anything.  Ya know?

We made a second mistake today.  Sal turned on the radio.  What a delight that is!  We only get the CBC and it has always been like a cross between a tranquilizer and a shock for me.  What unbelievable inanities they can get up to.  And still be boring as hell!  The low point of the CBC is, of course, any attempt at playing new Canadian music.  OmyGawd!  No wonder they had to legislate programming Canadian content.  It is so bloody abysmal!

And the ‘chirpy’, almost-laughing-as-they-speak, tragically ignorant hosts drive me mad within minutes.  They can’t pronounce most of the words they read and, if they can, they clearly don’t understand the content of what they are reading. 

“Thirty people burned to death today in Cincinatti, Randy.  A horrible car crash.  Isn’t that just awful (said with a smiling chirpy end-note)?”

“Well, some people will do anything to get out of Cinci, Nancy! Ha ha”

“Oh yes!  I know.  A friend of mine went their once.  Are you going to tell us the weather, Randy?”

“Yes, cloudy with sunny periods in that small region in the Northeastern part of the province where no one lives.  And don’t forget your rain hat if you are going there, Nancy.  Ha ha ha!”

“Ha ha ha!  I would sooner go to Cincinatti, Randy.  But the rain didn’t help those poor people back there!
And now a cut from the new CD by Upside-down Cake, the all-saxophone group out of Moncton, New Brunswick called, ‘In the back of the pick-up.’

Mercifully, Sally turned the radio off.  We were now cut off from the world.  Kinda.  I checked the internet.  More disaster.  What a rat-hole is Surrey, eh?  More on the HST.  Canucks.  Money, money, money.  More Vander Zalm.  Is this some kind of giant social retardation or is it another tear in the time-space continuum?   

I turned off the computer.  I was gonna write in my blog.  But I got bummed by what got to me first.  So, I went out and built a railing for the end of the deck.  That was nice.   Things were looking up.  Just have to stay away from the media in all its shapes and forms.

Except my blog, of course.