Making an appointment

People are pretty funny. I am currently being amused by receptionists although, to be fair, I have always been amused by receptionists.  Different reasons for different receptionists, of course, but basically I just ‘like ém’.

“Mr. Cox, where is this address?”

“You wanna come over?”

No!  No, thank you.  It is just that I have never even heard of this place.  Where is it?”

“Remote island.  Up the coast.  Ferries, logging roads, small boat.  You know, isolated, lonely, dangerous.  Adventure.  Bears.  Wolves.  Killing deer to survive?”

“Wow, really?  You live in the forest?” 

“Yep.  The truth is that it is a bit more civilized than I just made out.  Got satellite internet.  Fridge and stove.  Telephone. There are wolves, though.  And bears.  But I buy groceries at Save-On.  So, it is not quite wild, wild, wild.  And I am sorry, but I got a wife already.”    

“Wha…?  Well, that is good for you.  I am sure!  She must be some woman!  That kind of lifestyle is pretty neat, I guess.  My boyfriend would like that but me, I like going to restaurants, shopping and my Pilates class and stuff.  That sounds too rough for me.  Now…….can you come in next week at 9:00 am?”

“Well, I can.  If I have to.  But you see……..I live remote.  Takes four hours just to get to town.  It works best for me if I can get an appointment around noon.  Can we do that?”

“Oh, gee.  The doctor has lunch at noon.  How about later in the day at around four?  I can fit you in at 4:10 on the 17th?  The examination takes an hour and a half.  You’ll be the last patient.”

“Well, I can do that, if it is all you have.  But you see, I live remote and I need the same four hours to get back home.  Could I see the doctor after she has lunch?  I don’t care how far in the future we have to go to get a 1:00 o’clock appointment but that will work best for me if possible?” 

“Wow!  How do you get anything done?”

That is why I have a wife!  Oh, relax!  I am only kidding.  Mostly.  The key is not to try to get too much done.  We can do stuff as we come and we can do stuff as we go but shopping is about all.  No restaurants.  No visiting.  No browsing. 

“Or I can stay over.  But it is best for us to minimize our expectations and maximize our pace.  We try to hit the ground running, ya know?  Summertime is better.  We can get home later.  But the window of safe travel in the winter is small.  We try to get home before dark.  In a small boat, getting home in the dark is just tempting fate.  Plus we have dogs to feed.”

“Ooh!  Doggies!  I love dogs.  What kind of dogs………?” 

Receptionists.  What’s not to like?

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