“While we’re down here, we may as well measure that section, eh?” I deadpanned. Sal looked at me in horror……..then she broke up. We lay there for a second laughing. In the context, it was a good joke.
Timing and set-up is the key.
I had just slipped and fallen through the deck joists, interrupting my rapid decent for a nano second by smashing my face and hip on the lethal structure before straining my hefty bulk violently through the 14 and one half inch spacing. 24 inch centres would have, perhaps, been a better design choice. Hard to say.
I slumped through to the rocks and mud about four feet further down and could feel the blood running down my face and the pain from what felt like a broken hip. I didn’t think I’d be getting up anytime soon.
And Sal wasn’t going to be able to lift me. So we lay there together and cracked a few jokes.
Eventually the shock abated and, after a quick self-assessment, I managed with Sal’s assistance to get out, climb the slope and get to the house. Awhile later I was in bed and Sal attended to my wounds. I’d have a helluva bruise and a black eye but nothing was broken. Turns out to be nothing more than my usual new-project blood sacrifice.
Aside: our building site would pose quite a challenge for CSI.
I am fine but, two days later, the swelling and crap has virtually frozen my right hip so I will remain bedridden for awhile except for the painful but short ambulations necessary to promote healing. Should be back in a few days. ‘Course by then, Sal will have left me.
Sal is not cut out for nursing. Too hard. Too mean. She doesn’t like it. Neither do her patients. She’d be better suited as a prison guard at Guantanamo. Interrogation division. And, I confess, I am bit of a baby. But I am a better nurse. Hell, Hannibal Lechter would be better nurse!!
I soak and gently peel off bandages. Sal just says, “Oh, it’s faster and easier to just rip ’em off!” And then she proceeds to do just that! The trouble is, she is ripping off my bandages!
“There! See! All done! Now was that so hard?”
” NOT FOR YOU!”
Sally is a lovely person and I love her dearly. But she does tend to regard pain as an indulgence in the weak, one she has little time or patience for. Getting hurt in an accident around here is only part of the ordeal. After the accident comes the nursing! She is the single greatest reason for me being a fast healer. Convalescence is hell!
Oh, I am only kidding. Mostly.
(I still can’t move and she does read the blog, ya know?)