Dealing with insecurity

Just ordered a bunch o’ lumber, plywood and crap to continue building the studio.  It will come by barge likely in the first week of June.  The barge is a helluva deal.  About $150 (+ or -) a ‘lift’ and the barge can ‘lift’ about a ton at a time.  My order may be two lifts, might get lucky and only be one.  Worst case: $300+.

Compare that to schlepping 40 plywood sheets on a small boat.  We’re talking days.  We’re talking lots of small-boat gasoline.  We’re talkin’ coronary.

I love the barge.

And the 3-member crew of the barge (run by Inlet Navigation out of Campbell River and Menzies bay) are great guys.  Real human beings.  They come and drop their load and we ‘kill’ a few minutes cracking jokes and bein’ guys. Saying stupid stuff and laughing at ourselves and the world around us.  It’s good.  I look forward to their visits.

This delivery will also form the main stock for my summer activities.  It will keep me busy and entertained – albeit slowly as my pace is somewhat zombie-like nowadays.  I will be ‘stocked up’ in building materials for awhile.

There is something very satisfying about being stocked up. Stocked up is a tenet of living off the grid.  Ya gotta be independent to be living out here and, to be that, you gotta be stocked up in whatever it takes to feel, well, stocked up.

It is a weird kind of circular logic (if there is any logic at all) because the ‘stock’ in question is just a barge load or a town-day away but it is that part of the lifestyle  that makes you feel vulnerable somehow.  Ideally, I would have two years supply of potatoes, two years supply of scotch and two years supply of building crap.  Just for starters.

I have two years supply of wasabi.  And Thai chili sauce.  And light bulbs.  But some things are consumed at a faster rate and it is hard to keep a two year supply of say, toilet paper.  Impossible to keep a two year supply of wine.  I’d have to buy another 1100 gallon cistern.


But we do have a two year supply of fire wood.  And we literally burn through that.  So, it can be done.  Sal and I are on the final cord of putting away the wood for the second winter from now.  This is good.  This is satisfying.  This is a perfect example of stocking up.

It is also a perfect example of a growing dysfunction.  We are considering keeping at it so that we have three years!  And you know where that will lead, don’t you?  Three won’t be enough and we’ll have to start on year four!

Stocking up, if not managed properly, can get crazy-making.  And I am a bit vulnerable to that, I must confess.  Whenever we go to Costco, Sal says, “Now, for God’s sake, we don’t need any more Thai chili sauce.  Don’t even think about it.  We have a life time’s supply.  Even for a Thai family!”

“You sure?  I just used some the other night?  Maybe one more…?  Just to be safe?”

And you thought that I was building a studio!  Ha! You should see the storage I plan to put in that puppy!

3 thoughts on “Dealing with insecurity

    • The studio will have a wood stove. I have a teeny one (no larger than a breadbox) and it should do the trick but I also have another full-size house unit and if global warming reverses, I can jam that one in and change the name of the building to sauna. The prawn guys told me that today was the best one yet. Still bad but better than the past week which was abysmal. So, I dunno yet.


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