Vancouver Idiocrats vs Calgary Phlegm

There’s an old joke: “I went to the fights last night and a hockey game broke out!” 

Well, last night that joke was not only made true but the hockey game that ‘broke out’ was sub-sub-par, stupid and just a minor part of a glitzy show that included, of all things, a sensory assault of lights, noise, advertisements, uber-marketing efforts, booze, louts, mascots and hokey audience participation gimmicks.  Hockey never really showed up.

“We was robbed!!” 

Well, we would have been had we shelled out the $280.00 each for the tickets we had been given.  The seats were great!  I could see the Tim Hortons ad and the McDonalds ads so clearly!  With parking, it was a $600 mugging of sense, time, mockery of the game and disrespect for the audience.  It was a fraud – plain and simple.  It was a crime.

Typically teams send out their best players (first line) to open the game.  But, strangely, last night a fourth line for both teams were on the ice for the first puck to drop.  The Vancouver Canucks had brought up a 6’6″ rookie (Laine) to take the face-off.  ‘That seemed weird.  Where were the Sedins? Kesler?  Burrows?’ 

With the clock showing a generous two seconds spent, the teams were in a full Donnybrook.  The choice of opening line-up was thus explained.  It was a staged fight!  Like the WWF.  It was not a fight that came from two teams competing to the best of their ability and escalating out of frustration and minor cheating.  It was an arranged-by-the-teams beforehand brawl.  It was a set-up from a cheap B movie, not Hockey.

Even the hockey movie, ‘GOON’ was more real.

How can a society prosecute young drunken louts for participating in a hockey riot and still condone the debased debacle of a massive fraud inflicted on the gullible audience of same-louts by gazillion-dollar so-called stars of the game?  Makes no sense. There is no logic……….well, except that one group of professional louts makes money and the larger group of infrequent louts actually cost some money…..

So……I guess it is just about the money, eh?  To hell with sport, integrity, justice and common sense.

If it makes a buck, it is OK.  If it costs a buck, it is not.

I remember Guy Lafleur literally flying down the ice with Yvan Cournoyer at unbelievable speeds demonstrating brilliant stick handling and poetry in power as they combined to score a goal when I was at the forum in Montreal in the 60’s.  It was awe-inspiring.  The multi-million dollar players of today may have those same skills but they don’t bring them to the game.  Throughout the ‘show’ last night there were fewer than a half-dozen ‘plays’ that included passes that worked and shots taken at speed.  Most goals were the result of scrambles in front of the net.

Louts can do that!

Vancouver won the melee against the Calgary Phlegm 3-2.  The audience lost millions along with any self-respect they may have had.

The sport of hockey? DOA. Collateral damage.

6 thoughts on “Vancouver Idiocrats vs Calgary Phlegm

  1. Why would the Vancouver Nucks put a decent product on the ice if we fans will go and pay for crud? We Vancouver types must love losers. And those corporate types get to write off tickets. Justice eh!


  2. It’s funny the first game I watched this year 20 min. was enough I really have lost interest. If I had attended the live performance… Have a good one! Rob


  3. The premium seats I had were on a row with people 25 years my junior and they spent a good deal of the time in the ‘lobby’ buying beer. They arrived to their seats late, left once per period and left early for the intermission. If there were only two such ADHD-afflicted fans, I would assume they were using the cover of the game for drug deals (still plausible) but it was more than half the row! To be fair, the show on the ice was abysmal and it was constantly interrupted for TV commercials.
    The city is a cauldron of learning, eh? Or maybe it is just a cauldron…?


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