Where are you on the party endurance scale?

We’re going to a party tonight.  By boat, of course.  Everyone will arrive by boat.  It’s the only way.  By 7:00 pm there will be a flotilla of small boats rafted in clumps against anything that floats – a dock, an anchored buoy, a couple of trees near the shore…whatever.  People will be dressed in layers with the top layer likely a logger shirt or a Gore-Tex jacket.  Under that will be another logger shirt.  Some wag may show up in a Hawaiian shirt (there’s always one).  It will be fun.  Nice.  Community.  There will be the usual chit-chat, catching up with others that you haven’t seen in a year or so (since  the last party) and there will be the usual avoidances with those currently in the doghouse.  Hatfields and McCoy stuff.

I like everyone.  Well, there are a few McCoys for me, too.  But I am not keen on going even if I loved everyone.  I have never liked parties.  Hate’ em, actually.  I like dinner parties (mostly because I like dinner) because I can actually have a real conversation.  But chit chat eludes me.  I don’t ‘do’ weather.  I don’t care about the latest appliance.  Smartphone apps are not interesting.  I am ‘beyond’ real estate prices.  And, sadly, I am too old to flirt.  Being ugly was always a challenge to flirting but one I overcame because I had a motive (never mind).  But now I lack motive and all the women wear logging shirts anyway. Hell, some of them are loggers!

So, except for adding a little mortar to the walls of building community, what is the point of the party?  For me?  Not too much.  OK, there’s the dinner.  So, I’ll go.

My friend and neighbour and I have a rule.  We like each other.  A lot.  But visits can be no longer than three hours.  That’s the limit.  We start to fidget at the 2-hour-and-fifty-minute stage.  And we leave ten minutes later.  Even when visiting each other.  In fact, I raised the topic to him at the last ‘visit’.

“Hey, ya know the three hour rule we have….?”

“Wanna change it?  Say, two and half?”


“So, your time’s up.”

“Great!  See ya.”

We’ll likely remain friends for the rest of our lives although – near the end – he and I will visit for no more than fifteen minutes.

Here’s the funny part – most of the guys going to the party will be striving for the 3 hour rule, too.  The older ones are aiming for two.

Go ahead – write to me.  Tell me I am wrong.  I dare you.

5 thoughts on “Where are you on the party endurance scale?

  1. Totally correct sage being. Three hours is my limit if I know you. If you are kin usually not at all. I’m working on having good boundaries but kin as you know respect no boundaries. Kith okay on a provisionally snapshot visit whereas kin stay home. Please. Happy boating.


  2. John might agree although he is usually one of the last to leave a party. But I definitely do not agree. I love a good party as long as I like the attendees. Enjoy yourself tonight, I know Sally will. Wish we could join you.


  3. I really like that 2 and half hour rule. Im kinda like that aswell. I may use it. Im 25 and Im already partied out. If I have a few drinks sure i may have a good time. But at the end of the day its kind of a waste of time for me.


    • Dude! 25! Good for you. Save the ‘waste’ and get on with the other stuff. Trust me, time only accelerates as you get older. Rapidly. At my age the years are just flying by. I would gladly take back some of my wasted time as a young man. Go build a cabin.


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