Whoah! Nellie…..(now with prologue)

PROLOGUE (written a few days after the original blog) – I occasionally write something political in nature.  Mostly about actual politics but sometimes about cultural or social issues that still fall under the political category but not as much as the more common issues of partisan politics.  Sexual politics falls somewhere in between. 

I am NOT afraid of sexual politics.  Not TOO much, anyway.  It’s just that it is a topic that has been beaten to a masticated pulp over the last forty years and I am already guilty of saying the same thing over and over.  If you don’t believe that, ask yourself how many times I have suggested that the system is wonky, it may break down and that only fleeing off the grid makes any real sense?  I can be monotonous and boring.  Ask Sal.  Ask my kids.  It’s why they left home.

But, if I write anti-Trump rants I usually get a lot of comments.  If I write anti-Liberal rants, I get even more.  And, if I wrote something cultural or social I get still more.  On this topic – after three days – I have received ONLY one. 

I do NOT expect that all comments should be in agreement.  I fully expect some dissenting points to be raised if not complete rejections of the basic argument…..

But on this one?  Nada.  Zip.  Big O. 

Well, Paul stood up.  Paul commented.  Paul opined.  So NOT ‘zip’ but close-to-nada, for sure.  Anyway, Paul is as outspoken and opinionated as I am.  Maybe more.  I really expected more from others.

NO!  This is NOT a call for opinions.  Volunteer them or not.  That’s your call.  No problem.  NO OPINION is an opinion.  Even silence speaks loudly.  ESPECIALLY silence, actually!  Silence says volumes. 

I just expected more.  But many, it seems, are afraid of this topic, don’t want to disagree or see no percentage in agreeing.  Fair enough.  But doesn’t that say something to you?  Isn’t THAT also an issue?

Seems we can’t talk about this………………………..     

—————————original blog post:

The provincial NDP don’t (or don’t want to) accept males as new nominations anymore.  I honestly don’t know that to be 100% accurate but I have inquired of several NDP sources and NOT had a clear answer-back.  True or not, if it was even considered, it makes my point: Sexism/gender bias is just fine if it’s against white heterosexual men.

This is what Horgan actually said: “It does have to be a woman if a woman (MLA) steps down,” said Horgan. “But (retiring) Bill Routley, for example … it doesn’t have to be a woman there.”  But that statement at first appeared to be at odds with the NDP’s gender policy, which clearly stipulates that any departing NDP MLA must be replaced by a woman or “equity-seeking candidate”. Horgan’s office later clarified he was trying to say that a male candidate could meet the “equity-seeking” provisions, if that man was from a racial minority group, First Nation or the LGBTQ community, for example.

In other words: white, heterosexual men need not apply to replace a white, heterosexual man who is leaving.  White hetero males need not apply for ANYTHING.

Think about that…just for a minute…where is that gonna eventually lead?

Trudeau also made a point of picking females for half his cabinet thus ensuring that birth-determined genitalia were the determining factor most relevant to governing and not intelligence, ability or merit.

Presumably, alt-genitals later chosen by a candidate for reasons totally private are NOT so restrictive of political advancement and may be a plus.  Who the hell knows?

Graydon Carter the male editor of Vanity Fair is retiring but, in light of the Weinstein fiasco, the management and ownership of Conde Naste is being pressured into adding to the job description so many behavioural policies and restrictions that the only truly SAFE applicant will be female.  This, of course, is all in aid of gender neutrality.  In fact, one consultant said, “If they are smart, the top three on the shortlist should be female.”

Odd thing to say when Carter has exemplified competence and ability for 25 years.  His hormones, it seems, did not get in the way of being a good editor.

Well over 60% of the provincial and Federal government workforce is female.  The majority of those unemployed in BC are male.  But we have ministries for women’s equality and millions in grants given to women’s programs.  We are still promoting women in every position of the workforce despite the fact that they are currently in the majority (over 55% of the overall workforce is female).

Forty years ago female journalists were rare.  Now it is the opposite.

The battle for equality may not be fully won by some standards but the tide has clearly turned, the writing is etched deeply on the wall, the pendulum has swung – women have come a long way and may well be in the lead or are at least gaining fast…..it might just be time to ease off on the shrill complaints.


Part of the shrill complaints, whining, poor-me, victim-oriented ya-ya sisterhood is the sexual harassment crowd.   And they have now gone too far.  WAY TOO FAR!!!

Of course, there are real problems of rape and assault and even, to some small degree, sexual extortions that use greed and ambition to entrap but I am not talking about that.  That is wrong.  Ugly.  It should be corrected.  There are some bad boys out there.  I fully acknowledge that.  I would argue that there is an equal number of bad girls using their less-than-moral wiles but let us leave that topic sit on the shelf for now.  The topic for today is WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH US?

A 93 year old Parkinson’s patient restricted to a wheelchair and looking as frail and old as his age would suggest is accused of SEXUAL ASSAULT by three women who’s bottom he inappropriately groped.  Inappropriate?  Yes.  Bad?  A smidge, I suppose…… but, ASSAULT?  No way.  These women were young, fit, strong, surrounded by others and in public.  A bum-touch is NOT assault.  That they or anyone thinks it is, in fact, ASSAULT trivializes the word and diminishes the claims of real assault victims in so doing.  Hell, the old guy has been more assaulted than they were.

I have written about the need for due process in the Weinstein case for much the same reason.  These hysterical and insane accusations are ruinous and way more damaging than the crime in many cases (yes….now is the time to do yet another disclaimer that states once again that real rape and real assault are real problems).  Harvey Weinstein has over 40 women claiming all sorts of things but chief amongst them is assault.  If that (the example of 93-year-old ex-pres GHWBush) is the definition of assault they are using, he has already overpaid his debt to all.  In fact, he may be innocent of most charges.

The women’s movement does not see the cognitive dissonance that argument invokes.  How can you claim to be equal, empowered, liberated, capable and competent at the same time as saying you were victimized by a 93-year-old, wheel-chair bound, Parkinson’s sufferer?  Because he touched your well-clad bum in a public setting?  How can you claim to be so equal when you can’t dissuade or deter the unwanted actions of an old lech?  (yes….now is the time to do yet another disclaimer that states once again that real rape and real assault are real problems).

If you can’t say NO and say it loud and mean it, if you can’t say no because you actually want the guy’s wallet more than you want your dignity, if you can’t make no ‘stick’ with the time-honoured slap across the face or martini thrown, then maybe you truly are a victim-in-waiting and maybe we all DO need to rush to your aid.  Like we would a child.  Fair enough.  If that is the case (as it seems), I’ll be there.

But don’t then tell me how equal and empowered and capable you are…because YOU ARE NOT!



23 thoughts on “Whoah! Nellie…..(now with prologue)

  1. Boy oh Boy, David. You are a brave man! (or something else) You have entered dangerous territory. I happen to agree with you, but watch your back. i got sent a post the other day from a woman who inferred that all men bear some responsibility for the sexual misdeeds of a few. Their argument went something like; we are not doing enough to protect all women from these guys. As in ” get in touch with your feminine side”, as in spend time with your male children and do fun things like paint your nails together, as in try to convey extra respect for women in a business setting so they won’t feel put upon, as in call out men who sexually harass/assault women. The latter, I pointed out usually happens in private. These guys don’t usually want an audience. When i voiced my concerns about being “way over the top”, I got dumped on and called an example of what’s worst in men.


  2. Yeah, I know. I know. I should maybe have just left it at a voice for due process but, honestly, for REAL evil to be done, good men only have do nothing (same as what they are saying, actually). I have always been chivalrous despite when I stopped some doofus from manhandling a woman at a course I was attending and then, after he left (at my strong suggestion) SHE yelled at me saying that “she could handle herself!” You can’t win in the battle of the sexes so you may as well be true to yourself. I am trying to do that. Pray for me.
    I also have a friend who is a female professor of women’s studies and philosophies in Europe who wrote to say she agreed with me and further, went and submitted a hugely credentialed article to the NY Times along the same lines as my blog. I may post some excerpts.
    Thanks for your support, I wish I knew how to make you anonymous. We live dangerously, we do.


  3. Yes I agree about forcing “equality” down our throats……
    The political milksops that try to be everything to everyone will find out in the next election that they usually please no one.

    When I visit the relatives back east I usuually hang out with my female relatives. .
    I dont follow sports at all and I find their conversations far more interesting than football, or hockey teams or players who I dont know or care about.
    A lot of them have very interesting , important jobs in the private sector or govt
    That being said.
    The whole equality, politically correct, gender neutral, anti this anti that…( how many “Q”s are there in LGBTQQQ now?) divisive drivel………
    I dont even bother any,more.
    The shrill, anti male bashing is endless…..and then all these divorced, single gals will ask me,” Where are all the good men?”
    I reply , “They’ve been neutered.”
    Then I basically repeat what you have just stated.
    A white, anglo saxon male isnt allowed to have an opinion about anything without being labeled sexist,, racist, phobic……….on and on and on
    That usually starts a huge arguement to which I throw my hands up and say, ” Dont ask for a man’s opinion if you dont really want to hear it”

    My only hope is in about 20 years….when the entire workforce, political leadership, etc etc etc. is female they will look around and realize,
    “OMG what have we done. We now have no one else to blame but ourselves.”.

    As for politically correct insanity,
    One need look no further than a lecture by Professor Jordan Peterson who has been banned for reusing to use gender neutral pronouns in his lectures.
    So instead of saying “he” or “she” when answering a students question. “They” insist he say “they” when referring to a student that doesnt identify with either gender…..


    One wonders if there would be as much conflict if Dr. Peterson was a she……….
    The hounding of males continues..


    • “The shrill, anti-male bashing is endless…..and then all these divorced, single gals will ask me,” Where are all the good men?”
      I reply, “They’ve been neutered.”
      I think that is true but, to be fair, I also think sensible, smart, independent women do not FULLY agree with the current hysteria and male-bashing. They EXPECT men to assert their hormonal urges and they have learned to handle them. And they really WANT some men to still do that (Brad Pitt, etc). They KNOW that there is going to be dynamic of friction between the sexes and feel equal enough to deal with it. Sal, for instance, is NOT frightened or intimidated by much of anything and certainly not anything ‘manly’ and ‘piggy’. I pity the poor fool who offends Sal.
      So, why the hysteria? Partly because there IS a problem and they want to address it and partly because power corrupts and they see this as a power card to play. They get corrupted and overplay their hand.


  4. This topic is particularly complex because it is difficult to have a nuanced discussion. Many, many stereotypes are operating here. Canadian society retains many unreflected upon biases supported in some cases by deeply unexamined beliefs and convictions. Some argue their point of view with biblical references, others offer anecdotal evidence, while some offer cultural stereo types to enforce a point of view. Society seemingly wants equality among all persons while having amnesia about past actions which promoted inequality. Equality among all person “Is more honoured in its breech than in its practice.” This fight for true equality will get more bitter before it gets better.


    • Hmmmmm….thoughtful…..polite….intellectual….a description of the topic rather than an opinion…..still, while NOT risking your neck, you have made some good points. Thank you for that. But I am guessing….male? Degree-holder? Well-read? Married?
      I also agree that it will get worse unless WOMEN speak out and I mean some have to speak out to put some common sense, male-sympathetic points out there. Of course, not all WILL be sympathetic but there ARE some points to be made that conflict with the hysteria and outrage currently being sold as ‘all women’s views’ (i.e. the Me, too, movement). I know plenty of women who do NOT see the world as it is being described. Where are they?


  5. It’s a little bewildering to me too. Why you haven’t got any response. I happen to agree whole heartedly. I was picking grapes the other frosty morning, everyone clapping their hands to encourage circulation. I unconsciously gave my picking partner a hug as a warming gesture, and then felt guilty of ‘sexual assault’. Yes, she was attractive, no, I didn’t afford a male picker the same opportunity and would I have done the same to an unattractive, female picker?
    I like to think I reached out in a friendly gesture and it was only after, that society induced mores caused me the fleeting sense of guilt. I did get over it.


    • Gutsy moves, JA. The hug AND your agreement with me.
      DON’T dare hug a child, tho. OMG! ESPECIALLY not one you are not related to (and hugging one you are related to can be dangerous as well, so pick your situations carefully. Thank you. I say, if you are hugging strange attractive women you are a braver man than even I. Ex president Bush won’t even be allowed out from now on.
      Thanks for writing.


      • Well, David Cop-a-feel is classic ‘dirty old man’ and I can see why some women would be put off, even insulted and maybe somewhat demeaned (after all, they were feeling somewhat special to be with an ex-president). But feeling assaulted makes no sense. Feeling angry and hysterical at a 93-year-old in a wheel chair makes no sense. Going public with it is sick, silly and totally self-serving.
        Nice to see you, Aldo.


  6. Several opinions were stated chief of which is the need to examine the unexamined mythology about about Canadian values. I refer you to a book by Chomski, “Necessary Illusions.” The other day in Parliament these words heard in the house, “Free Enterprise.” Obviously a myth! We hear about ‘White Privilege,” ” mansplaining” and other examples of name calling that do not lead to rational discussion.


    • I do not deny your observations. In fact, I agree with them. I was just suggesting something more personal, primal and subjective rather than academic and objective might also be good. NOT criticism…just wanting more.


  7. As a long term member of an organization fuelled by a dominant mythology, “Everything uttered can and will be used against you.” The ‘tall poppy syndrome.”


  8. I sent two comments in on Oct29th and they STILL show up as “comments awaiting moderation”…..?

    if I was paranoid I’d say Gloria Steinem was your moderator…… :)-

    Lets see if this one gets through…..


    • Good to hear from you. Your silence was discomfiting. I’ll check what that moderation thing means….you’d THINK I was the moderator, wouldn’t you?


  9. ‘Of course, there are real problems of rape and assault and even, to some small degree, sexual extortions that use greed and ambition to entrap but I am not talking about that. That is wrong. Ugly. It should be corrected. It could even be close to criminal if not at the very least really truly naughty.’

    This paragraph is the one, that I believe needs addressing. Implying that rape could be ‘close’ to criminal behaviour is the opposite of what the world needs right now.

    I understand that you have never been raped (I’m going to assume that based on your point of view), and I am glad that you have never had to experience that trauma. How beautiful that you can live your life free of that fear! I’m here to tell ya, had you ever been kidnapped from your home, brutally beaten, raped at gun point and then taken into the woods where the man threatened to kill you, only to have the police close your case because they couldn’t find him, I believe you would have a different perspective.

    I do agree with the ‘due process.’ But the victims statements have to be viewed (at least partially) as evidence as well, otherwise these abusers will go free. Do you know how hard it is to prove rape? (Getting graphic for a moment..) without his seamen or saliva on/in you, you’re basically hooped.

    My faith in the justice system has been all but destroyed, and I don’t blame these women for taking the routes that they did, blasting these men on social media.

    Maybe just be glad you’ve never had to be a victim of sexual abuse, or harassment.


    • That sentence was poorly written. You should have a problem with it. Clearly rape is the very definition of criminal and, except for the offending sentence, I make that clear. So I am glad you wrote. But, I disagree somewhat. Due process is needed. Despite rape being difficult to prove, it is still a catastrophic experience and can’t be addressed with allegations on social media. With rape we at least know the perpetrator and the victim. It’s a start.
      Also, I am sure it was not your intention but by invoking the ‘have you been raped question’ as the major qualifier for having the discussion, you dismiss most men from the conversation. By that definition only women and convicted rapists can address the problem. Have you ever been punched in the face?
      Ever been burgled? Ever mugged? Ever been hit by a drunk driver? I have. And much much more. But I wouldn’t attempt to censor your opinion on those issues. Did Lincoln have to be black to emancipate the slaves?
      The sentence is changed. What I meant was: some things truly naughty verge on criminality. Extorting sex could be legal if only money and or bribery was used. Illegal if blackmail or threat was used. Makes little difference to me, extortion and bribery are disgusting but, bear in mind, women fought for the right to be legal prostitutes. Some willingly take the bribes. So due process in that sense is crucial.


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