A smidge more than two years ago I wrote about my friend, M, and his battle with MSA, or Multiple Systems Atrophy. MSA is in the Lou Gehrig family – a 100% dysfunctional family.  It is a brutal wasting away.  Over a long, long time.  Horrible.

You need an update.  And this is it:

Now that Sal and I are down here, we visit.

M is still here.  He is still fighting.  He is still losing.

This living sentence makes a life term in prison seem like a luxury vacation.

This is long, hard and cruel.  This is uncomprehendingly painful, impossible and bleak.  And yet both M and his wife, D, live it.  Endure it. Every day.  MSA is terminal and it is equally interminable.  It is way, way too much for anybody.

But, somehow, they are handling it.

I have no idea how either of them remain sane.  That M still has a sense of humour and worries about D and that she is gracious and kind and somehow has enough energy to worry about their frequent guests is nothing short of heroic and the epitome of grace.  Mother Teresa couldn’t have done as well. I can’t imagine anyone doing this well……..

…….maybe Stephen Hawking and his family.

I know M & D.  And so I vote for M & D.  Hawking is second.

That’s how bad this is.

And it is just getting worse.

I won’t go on.  After a point, my writing about it causes me to put myself in M’s shoes.  And I can’t take it.  Not even for the brief time it takes to write a lousy 300 or so words.  Even that is too much for me. I do it only as a tiny tribute to spirit, courage and love at a level I hope I never ever have to know.

But let me leave you with this: give M a thought.  Give D one, too.  And, while you are doing that, love all that you have and ever will have.  Life can be and often is, nasty, brutish and short – but love can and does endure.  I have that on the very best of authority – I see it all the time in my own life but I see it even more vividly when I visit them.

A friend of mine is a contractor.  He reports to a common sense-challenged project manager.  The project manager has read lots of books.  Has degrees.  He knows forms and templates and budgets and Excel and PowerPoint.  He is the boss.

He hasn’t a clue about building.  He’s got paper but that’s it.  Maybe if the construction method was Origami………?  My contractor friend will work with it.  Politely.

Another friend (female) asked me the other day, “I’ve noticed that there really is a grumpy old man syndrome.  Why is that?  Why do guys get grumpy as they get older and why don’t they do something about it?”

She wants the old guys to be nice.

I almost snapped at her.  I was tempted to say that grumpiness is a sign of wisdom.  Things really are annoying!  Most things, actually.

But, I didn’t.  Why?  Because I had gained knowledge on that subject – knowledge born of experience:  Politeness is deemed more important than truth.

The world doesn’t recognize the validity of anger or it’s limp-wristed cousin, grumpiness.  Those two are not nice.  We’re supposed to be nice first.

And we are supposed to be institutionally educated, too.  And socialized.  And civilized.  And tolerant.  Especially, we are supposed to be tolerant!  In a nutshell (exactly!) we are SUPPOSED to tolerate fools gladly and always be nice.

Truth, honesty, common sense?  Maybe listed low on page two………… 

And, in this way, the idiot project manager will be kept safe from the homicidal thoughts of the knowledgeable contractor.  Costs will rise.  Delays will happen.  Etc. Etc.

Can you see where this going?  Put bluntly: many societies have placed politeness and manners ahead of plain-talking truth.  As a consequence the members of those societies are, in effect, liars.  They are, at the very least, unreliable.  You can’t trust what they say.  Politeness – in itself – is NOT true.  The best it can be is PART of truth.  It is not a replacement for it.

In some societies it is systemic.  And they are ‘backward’ as a result. In ours, it is mostly a recent phenomena (I think).  And we are going backwards as a result.

We no longer tell it like it is.

We should.  I am saying that there is a legitimate place for anger and that, for some reason (I think it has economic roots, actually), we are more and more obliged to pretend things are OK when they are not, people are NOT wrong when they are and that procedure and paper will take the place of real knowledge and common sense.

That is wrong.  Yes, you can quote me.

In other words, we may have gone too far in this weird, modern form of civility if it continues to make us unreal, superficial, insincere and ultimately untruthful.  We have to stop reading from the book only.  We have to stop lying about what is.  We have to speak up because not doing so is crazy-making and, ultimately contrary to our goals. 

In the end, truth will out (Shakespeare) so why not employ veracity earlier?

And to do that we have to get past nice as the dominant message.  Sorry.  Truth has to be the primary and dominant message.  Nice is how we wrap it up but first it has to be true.

We all know that truth is not always welcome.  Normal talk: “Oh, your little boy is soooooo cute.  Never mind the mess!”   “No, really.  I want to hear about your day!”  “He’s so much fun!”  She’s just going through a hard time.” “I’ll just be a  minute!” “Your call is important to us.”

Real talk: “Here’s a cloth to clean up his mess.”  “No, thanks, I do not want to hear about your day at the gym or Starbucks.” “He’s nuttier than a fruitcake!”  “She’s just nasty!”  “I will be a long time, why not go get a do-nut?”  “Hang up and try again.  We’re busy!”   

We all know the house will eventually get built.  Despite the project manager’s obstructionism.  Despite my friends misplaced ‘niceness’.  People will still do good work despite political correctness, bureaucratic meddling and catering to the perpetually ignorant or ‘challenged’ (‘stupid’ in the old vernacular).  We will muddle along.  But it would be so much easier if common sense was more common and policy, procedures and political correctness was not.

AND what about the BIG scale?  We all know the media doesn’t tell the truth, politicians care about themselves before the people, democracy is a sham, free markets are controlled by 1% of the people and that our so-called leaders follow the polls and their funding sources like sheep.  We know that climate change is real, the planet is becoming less habitable for life as we know it, we are not addressing our problems and, in a state of unconsciousness, we are actually making them worse.  We all know that – it is not news.

So why do we pretend otherwise?

The truth is that we have problems on all sorts of levels but we have collectively chosen to lie about them or remain ignorant.  Or, in modern speech, we just say gibberish like ‘going forward’ and ‘at the end of the day’, ‘allocating resources’ ‘sit down together’ and ‘plan, study, review and then strike a Royal Commission.’

Why?  What good can come of that?

Long answer made short: anyone who understands that is likely to feel a little grouchy now and then.  Grumpy guys just want the truth.

Despite my overwhelming ambivalence to urban living, there are some surprisingly entertaining moments now and again.

Today I met a guy who – disturbingly – thinks along the same lines as I do and altho that is sufficiently weird in itself, even more oddly, he used similar vocabulary and speech patterns.  As one gets older, one is usually more often defined as being different from others – not more similar.  This was a treat.  65 year-olds at play.

OK.  Richard was better looking (6 years younger) but that hardly counts.  Not to me, anyway.  The waitresses I flirted with seemed OK with my charms, his looks and Larry’s wallet. (Why choose when you can have it all and a 20% tip?)  And anyway, ugly is as ugly does and I like to think I do beautifully.  The two of us plus our mutual good friend, Larry, had a good time at lunch letting our imaginations soar.  And they were soaring green.

“We are entering a transition phase from an oil-based, growth-at-any-costs collective mind set to a more local, sustainable one.  I think everyone knows that.  But what does that transition look like and how do we contribute meaningfully?” 

“Well, I ran away.  Use less gas.  That’s good.  Got older and punch fewer people in the face now.  That’s good.  Went to live off the grid, write letters to the editor and rant about how bad others are. So I do my bit.  And that all kinda keeps me busy enough most of the time.  When I have some extra hours and energy, I build something or hurt myself.  Usually both of those things are accomplished.”

“I don’t wanna be rude but, like, have you ever thought of, like, maybe, you know, expanding your vision or something?” 

“Well, there’s always the basic King of the World-type fantasies, ya know?  Cheap B movie hero transference-thing? Win the lottery?  Get elected, start a rock band; that kind of thing?  That works in the short run for me.  But, practically speaking, I am no longer looking to build the empire.  I am having trouble maintaining it, fixing things, cleaning the gutters.  And I go to bed early.  What were you thinking?”

“I dunno.  Lately, recycling garbage and methane gas generation…….

” I do that.”

“…I meant on an industrial scale, you twit!” 

“Well, if my wife’s opinion counts………..”

“Honestly, I don’t know.  I just think that it is time to look at the world we are leaving our kids.  I think maybe we should clean it up, green it up and lean it up.  Have you read the book Oil Obesity or something like that?”

“Careful now…..we just met”.

“Sorry.  Do you read those kinds of books?” 

“All the time.  I am drawn to them.  They are depressing as hell.  My kinda books.  But they all hold out a glimmer of hope, too.  Change or die is the basic message but change can be fun is the second.  A good one is The Rise of the Naked Economy.  But I also recommend, The End of Growth.  Seems we are also running out of oxygen.  Pretty neat, eh?  But, my advice? You really have to watch some sit-coms in between tomes of doom or your alcohol consumption starts to rise.  Trust me.”

“Shouldn’t we actually be doing something, tho?”

“Like…….?”

“I dunno……………but, ah…….my meter is about to expire.  I gotta go.  We really have to do this again, sometime.  Nice to meet ya!” 

“Yeah…………………..you, too.  If you come up with a game changer, call me.  Leave a message or something.  Or tell Larry….or….whatever………….”

“Yeah, yeah…gotta run…see you guys…..”

“So, I gotta go, too, Dave.  Gotta meeting.  Gotta go.  See ya, Dave.  Good to see you again.  We’ll do this again sometime, eh?”

“I’m in. Whenever.  But you know……….right?

“Know what……………?”

“World’s doomed.  You now that, right?  If it relies on us, we are all toast.”

“Yeah.  I know.  I consider this kind of lunch my charity work for retired guys.  Hope you enjoyed your meal?  Gotta go.”

“I did.  See ya.  Thanks for the donation!”

Given that I have no idea what I am talking about most of the time and that I much prefer to live in the forest so as to preserve that blissful ignorance, it is amazing that I come up with any ideas at all, really. Well, maybe wood-chopping and oyster-collecting ideas might be expected but, honestly, I do all that kinda stuff the old way.  No major deviations when shucking oysters or digging clams for me!

Any original societal or philosophical ideas from me would seem implausible and any new concepts about modern life must be erroneous by definition.  I am not modern.  I am a Luddite.  I am not hip enough to even use my cellphone properly; how can I possibly be right about anything big, modern, international or even interesting for that matter?

But that doesn’t stop me from trying.  Maybe I am a neo-Luddite.  Ideas?  I have a few but then again, too few to mention (sung to a Sinatra melody).   But here’s one: I am not sure but we may now be already ankle-deep in a world-changing revolution.

You’d think we’d know…...?

This might be some kind of global, tech-cum-institutional, climate-altering, nation-wrecking, personal-identity-including shake-up of such colossal proportions that it is happening without us even knowing it.  Better put: I don’t know it.  But I suspect it.

Who ya gonna call?  Certainly none of the institutions we usually rely on for information, that’s for sure!

This question requires a way, way out of the box perspective.

Why?  Because all institutions are, by definition, status quo oriented.  We form organizations to make changes and then we maintain the organization to fine-tune the changes that were made (kept to within the confines of their constitution) which, in turn, solidifies the institution against any major change.  This it remains the same.  It is what societies do.  Repeat efforts until  the institution is hoary and useless.

What do I mean? See education, health care systems, governance, law and traditional allegiances like Masons, Rotary, Religions and even the way war is prepared for (they are always preparing for the last war and the new one surprises everyone.  A good example is today’s cyber wars and terrorism).

Another more personal example: the entire ‘working-for-the-man’ kind of job we have all grown up with, studied for, unionized over and insured against losing (EI) is all a ‘construct’, an institution born from the basic company structure invented hundreds of years ago but whose zenith has likely passed.  More and more people work free-lance, free-form, unstructured, part-time, temporary or on contract.  Or we outsource.  It may not be what we want, but that is the way it is going.

Things change.  And those caught up in such changes are often the last to notice.

Even governments are changing with explosive rapidity these days from the Ukraine to the Arab Spring, from the Canadian Senate to the underground economy.  Speaking of which: Bitcoin, though mortally wounded, was an attempt to change the very nature of the world’s currency. It doesn’t get much more fundamental than that.

Put another way: my nephew recently complained to me that, “…. the %^%$#@! baby boomers are holding on to their jobs thus effectively marginalizing youth and keeping us at home playing video games in the basement”.  His point: the old jobs weren’t there for him.  And, of course, he is right –  often they are not.  Nor will they be there for anyone in another decade or so.

And so my point is this: everything is changing so much that such massive change might meet the definition of a revolution.  Apologies to John Lennon:

You say you want a revolution
We all want to change the world
You tell me that it’s evolution
But when you talk about destruction
Don’t you know you can count me out
You say you got a real solution
 We don’t love to see the plan
You ask me for a contribution
We’re doing what we can
But if you want money for people with minds that hate
All I can tell you is brother you have to wait
You say you’ll change the constitution
We all want to change your head
You tell me it’s the institution
You better free your mind instead
But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao
You ain’t going to make it with anyone anyhow
Don’t you know it’s gonna be alright

Even the definitions of sex, marriage and family are being redefined.  It is all in flux.

I dunno, folks…..the only thing we know for sure is that things change – so that is no surprise.  But we also know that ‘the more things change, the more they remain the same’.  And we can call that the ‘somewhat fluid status quo’.  But that second part may have changed.  It may not remain the same.  When things change on such an epic scale, when institutions from all walks of life crumble and when basic human behaviour seems to be undergoing massive fundamental change even on a molecular level, we may – just may – be on the edge of the revolution we have so often talked about.

Remember: nobody said it would look like we expected it would and, when you think about it, a real revolution never does.  It is totally unexpected.

Could this be it?

OK…so what is really going on?  All of a sudden, we are getting sabre-rattling from Canada, the paragons of peace, the nancy-boys of North America?  Canada talks tough with Russia?  Give me a break!

I have no idea what this is all about but one thing is for sure, it is NOT about the Ukrainian people.  We don’t care that much about our OWN people 95% of the time – so we are going to punch Russians in the face for doing what not only comes naturally but also may be somewhat justified?  Makes no sense.

Who is writing the script for this dark sit-com?

Look: Russia leased land in Ukraine.  Like Britain did 115 years ago with Hong Kong.  Russia has half it’s navy in Crimea.  It has nuclear weapons there and over 60% of the population there are Russian.  Putin has to go there.  He has to secure his forces.  He has no choice.  In fact, I would prefer Putin to have the nuclear weapons over newly energized Ukrainian rebels.  As bad as Putin is, he hasn’t used any nuclear weapons yet.

And, from what I hear from real Ukrainians, the current team of parliamentarian pirates are not 100% supported even amongst those not Russian.  Clearly this is a divided country in so many ways.  Give ’em time.  Let them sort it out.

But Canada has somehow suddenly found it’s voice on this?  Let me put it bluntly: we do not have a voice in this.

For Canada to posture on this current issue is like France posturing on Quebec.  “Shut up, already!”

So, what is the real issue?  Well, methinks that the Ukraine ‘splitting off’ from Russia serves the west in some way.  So, they are meddling to make matters worse.  Offering up billion dollar loans to Ukrainian Vlad-come-latelies and attending memorials – what nonsense.  What hypocritical and dangerous nonsense!

Don’t get me wrong, Putin has a long track record of Stalin-eque rule and is clearly not a nice guy.  But, given that he has no choice in Crimea because he leases an apartment and a big marina there, why make this an issue?  Why make this an issue for Canada?

And, from my point of view, Canada lives in a glass house.  Canada does not take care of our own people.  See aboriginal issues.  See the environment.  Canada does not even take care of it’s own veterans.  Canada sells out it’s resources to China.  Canada cuts back on services to it’s own people and cheats everyone.  But we are going to war to back up our Ukranian brothers over an issue that is just a week or so old?

Somebody should arrest John Baird and put a muzzle on Stephen Harper.  For their own good. They are way out of their league in this street fight.

There is only one plausible explanation I can see for this: the arctic.

Canada and Russia claim overlapping parts of the arctic.  We are already taking little ‘runs’  at each other by overflying our air territories and them doing the same.  And that will have to be sorted out if either government begins the planned rape of the resources there (oil).  So, by Canada and the US showing up like Batman and Robin over Ukraine, a clear message regarding territorial disputes in the arctic is being sent.  We will subsequently diminish our rhetoric over Ukraine (because we don’t care about it, really) but we will then double our flyovers in the arctic and add the presence of our American neighbours.

The message: Canada and the US stand as one.  Stay out of the arctic and we’ll stay out of Ukraine.

But I have no idea what I am talking about.  Maybe we should just trust Harper on this…waddya think?

As you know, Sal and I are trying to write a book about something off-the-grid.  Since I am the more prolific writer and inclined to colourful expressions (i.e. lies, hyperbole and fabrication) and Sal is more about facts, order, sense and sensibilities, I produced the raw material and she is in the process of refining it.  The idea is to reduce the last few years of blather to a story of sorts.

When we started, we didn’t know what the story was going to be and, to be honest, we are still not sure.  Old Couple Retires?  Change of Life?  Adventure Living on a Budget?  Going Feral (but with a computer and other mod cons)?

Of only one thing I am quite sure: Sally is a butcher!  Whole anecdotes are sent to the morgue.  Story threads are sutured up.  Themes dismembered.  Categories of interest deemed uninteresting are sent to the psychiatric ward for further analysis.  And every rant has been expunged!  I feel like the World’s Biggest Loser, except not in weight loss but in words.

If she could do this for me in the weight loss category I would be anorexic and almost beyond recovery.

“Sal, you are cutting all the meat off the bones!  A book is more than a list of accurately compiled and researched facts, it is a human, personal-interest story.”

“No, it isn’t.  It’s not all about you, you know?  Or me. Ya gotta get over yourself.  And you gotta stop writing about me!  Now what was the average weight of an adult raven again?  And do we have the latest schedule of the barge?”

“Why?”

“Because you refer to the ravens in the same blog as the barge and people need to know the facts from the footnotes.”

“Footnotes?”

“Yeah, you know….like where your sources of information came from…that kind of thing?”

“I made ’em up!”

“See!  Now there’s the problem in a nutshell.  You can’t just make stuff up.” 

“But, of course I can!  I was there.  It happened to me.  There were no teams of scientists watching and measuring.  I fell into the sea, got cold and climbed out.  What kind of fact-checking do people need for that?!”

“No, silly.  I mean when you refer to a tree that you chopped down.  You don’t mention the name of the tree or, if you do, you don’t mention the Latin name or whether it is on the endangered list or what kind of forest it comes from.  People need that.”

“They do if they are silvaculture students but not if they are simply readers!”

“See!  That’s why you need me.  You don’t know squat about readers.  I know about readers.  I’m in a book club.  You are not.  Keep that fact in mind when you think to criticize, big boy!  So keep writing.  I intend to throw away a whole lot of what you write, so I need lots!  And, if you don’t mind, I have a list of things I need you to research.  We need more facts on stuff like gensets, tools and all the flora and fauna in our area.  Oh yeah, and do try to be funny, won’t you?  This is supposed to be a light take on living-off-the-grid and well, sometimes you are kinda boring.”    

T’is the 27th.  Last post was the 22nd.  Five days!  I think that is the longest drought of my nasty, brutish and short writing career. What the hell?

Part of the reason, of course, is what I have been saying lately…….there is little of interest for me in the city.  Even though living down here is easy, convenient and quite tasty when you find a few good local restaurants, it is basically unstimulating.  Worse, I spend no time building and hours at a time in the seated position.  TVs and computers are eating at my life.

“Dave, what the hell is wrong with you?  Turn ’em off!” 

Yeah.  Like that works!

Anyway….five days of city living is almost enough to give me fodder for one day of writing.  So, here it is: I met a Ukranian guy.  Expressed my sympathy for the trials and tribs his country was going through.  He shrugged.  I then expressed a bit of support for the pretty, braided Yulia Tymoshenko who had been incarcerated for the past four years.  She, it seems, was the rightful leader-of-choice of the people.  He shrugged.

“What?  You don’t like pretty girls?”

“Oh, I like pretty girls but she bad like others.  Just pretty.  Still bad.  They all bad.  Each one just take money from peoples and give to friends and selves.  They all bad.  Even her.  She not bad like others bad but still bad.” 

“Oh…………”

“You think Canada different?  It no different!  Government take money from peoples give money to friends.  You not see?”

“Oh, I see.  I see.  Don’t get me started.  We could be here all day speaking with heavy Eastern European accents, nyet?”

“What you say?”

“I say I share your cynical point of view but, given half a hour’s conversation, I will also share your accent and weird sentence structure.  I pick up speech patterns like a sponge.  Next thing you know, I am drinking Vodka (which I pronounced Wodka – it was already happening!) and sending out for perogy delivery!  I’ll leave drunk, full and with your accent.  Where’d you come from, anyway?”

“Coquitlam.”

I also met Frank Wang.  Nice guy.  Also poor English.  Chinese herbalist.  A friend of mine was wanting some horrible Asian tea-medicine that acts like a tonic and I was in the neighbourhood so I went to pick it up for him.  Because of his enthusiastic endorsement of Frank, I stayed for an assessment of my own self (our guest suite does not have a mirror, you see).  Frank asked me some questions only half of which I understood and looked at my eyes and throat and then prescribed me some herbs, too.  $78.00 later I walked out of the little shop of horrible herbs with a large grocery bag of frog tongues, newt eyes and things necessary to make a tea of double, double toil and trouble.  There were a few mushrooms in there too, I think.

Frank looked at me and asked, “You watch TV?” 

“Now don’t start with me, Frank……”

“Where you live?”

“On a remote island up the coast.  Off the grid.”

“Wha’…? You mean condo?”

“Oh.  No.  I live in a house.  Good Feng Shui.”

“Wha’ you say?”

“Never mind.  I live in a house.”

“Eat fast food?”

“No.  Once every two months.  No more.  Always good food.  Never processed.”

“OK.  No more pizza for you, OK?  Not good.  No more burgers, OK?  Not good.  You eat spicy food?”

“Well….yeah…kinda…..you know……I like Chinese food and…..”

“Ha ha.  Chinese food not spicy!  Ha ha, you make joke with Frank!”

“OK, well then there’s Indian food.  I like Indian food.  Probably once or twice a month.  And I make sushi now and then.”

“Ha ha!  You funny guy!  Sushi good.  Sushi no spicy.  Ha ha.  But only yellow curry for you, OK?  Yellow curry good.  Green curry bad.  OK?” 

I was going to discuss Wasabi with him but decided not to.  If Feng Shui didn’t bring us closer, nothing would.

City living, eh?  Just one giant international melting pot of herbs, spices and broken English.

I have recently learned that children’s car seats can get stale dated.  Seems they have a best-before date and, if used for too long, go ‘bad’.  Your kid’s head will crack like an egg in a 5 mph accident!  Who knew?

I have also learned that some Canadians have benefitted from an economic stimulus program that never even existed! (That is not easy and you have to admire their pluck in getting there and still having enough energy for being filmed for already-purchased-for the-Olympics television ads).  And I have learned that dirty dish cloths left unwashed can carry germs that will make you sick.  Maybe crack your kid’s head even? Fabric items such as plush toys can also kill you and your loved ones if you are not careful.

But most of all I have learned that our fellow Canadians love one another so much that we will all get behind our hockey players even if they take on the world!

These lessons cost the government millions to teach.  That is why they have cut back on real educational funding for schools, you see…more kids watch TV than listen to teachers…makes sense in a cynical, selfish, political-brainwashing kind of way.

I have also learned that Enbridge Northern Gateway is protecting our environment from threat – Enbridge is not threatening our environment like it might seem.  They love the salmon.  They love the whales.  And they are doing their level best to protect it all from the bad guys.  God bless ’em.  They have even hired a local ‘mom’  and ‘grandmother’ as project manager.

Who are the bad guys, again?

Propaganda is a powerful tool and our government is not letting this Olympic opportunity pass them by.  They are bombarding us with messages.  Every million dollar ad telling us about dirty washcloths and stale car seats is paid for by your tax dollars.  Every boosterism hockey ad is paid for by your tax dollars.  You are paying to be lied to.  You are paying to be conned. You are paying to be convinced that ‘they’ are looking after you.

They are not.  They are doing the opposite.  They are stealing from you and your children and your children’s children.  They are liars.

And we don’t even think about it.  “Ho hum, just another stupid ad about dirty dishcloths…telling us what everybody knows…or telling us blatant lies…all done with a backdrop of real Canadian scenery and wildlife…so what else is new?” 

Here’s something new: We are also being told to curb our wanton use of antibiotics.  We are being told that over use of such drugs causes problems and those problems are our fault!  Fact: antibiotics are prescribed by doctors, sold by pharmacies and they really do go stale.  In other words: the consumers being lectured to by the ads are NOT the problem.

Their propaganda is not a real solution for the problem but it helps deflect the blame from government and the medical industry.

More and more we are seeing advertising campaigns selling ideology rather than product.  We see political points of view rather than bargain discounts.  We see environmental platitudes and outright lies stated by corporate polluters and backed by government complicity.  Even the media and broadcasting – the medium by which this duplicity is delivered – is guilty of NOT telling the truth.

It is not just a case of the absence of truth – it is a purposeful, managed and carefully packaged lie.  L-I-E.

The BIG LIE is all of it, this giant cover-all veil of lies, statistics, half-truths, propaganda, spin and deceit that pervades almost every newspaper article, every piece of legislation, every ad on TV and especially the infotainment that passes for news.  We have, as a nation, become so complacent or so stupid that the BIG LIE is no longer even half-hidden or subtle.  It is blatant.  It is ‘in your face’.  It is embarrassing, insulting and completely out of control.

And it has an increasingly American style to it.  And you know where that leads?  Blind patriotism, ugly nationalism and complete and utter ignorance of the rest of the world.  It also leads to supplication, subservience and forced compliance when deemed necessary by government (Homeland Security).  We will become a nation of hockey goons just as the US has become a nation of tail-gate football fans.  And anyone questioning that will become a danger to national interests or a person of interest to the police.

Warning! Whatever you do, don’t get too caught up in the boosterism that is the Olympics.  All it really is NOW is nationalism writ large.  And nationalism is just BIG party politics at work.

Having said that, Gilmore Junio exemplified real sportsmanship by giving up his Olympic opportunity to a better skater and one of Canada’s ski coaches, Justin Wadsworth helped a Russian competitor whose ski had broken.  THAT is the Canada I would like to see promoted. 

I confess to a weakness for attractive women.  I am a visual animal, after all and I figure “God gave ’em curves and gave me eyes.  It must be my job to check ’em out!” 

‘Course, things change with age.  I admit that, too.  I have actually passed beautiful women in the street and NOT looked!  What is up with that?  I have even passed beautiful women in the street and NOT even seen them!  Like my eyes were failing or something!

That is so weird.

But the other day it became more clear to me.  I saw.  I looked.  I stared.  And I was seduced.  I was completely enthralled.  My friend Steve had given me the keys to the Kubota mini-excavator and it is just gorgeous!  I call her Kubby.

OK, I know what is being mumbled out there…”How dare he compare an excavator to a woman!  The bastard!”  And I know that pursuing that comparison will only get me deeper in trouble with the women.  Like digging yourself out of a hole……..not unlike using an excavator to get you out of a hole….

Never mind.

The point: I may have moved on from primal reflex staring at beautiful women (may have) because age alters all things hormonal.  But nature also abhors a vacuum and what little testosterone I have left is being directed towards cute little excavators.  OMG!  What fun!  (Do not let the serious look on my face fool you.  I was grinning on the inside!)

Two magic joysticks control the little beasty.  One is the ‘steering wheel’  and the other is the bucket/fork-lift control.  You can set your speed and just leave it or you can set your ‘default’ speed and employ an accelerator pedal to over-ride that speed whenever you feel confident enough in what you are doing.  The perfect recipe for a disaster!  OMG!  What fun!

I spent the first hour or so just slowly ambling about and tearing up the yard.  I moved a few empty pallets and stacked them and then moved them again and stacked them again.  It was great!

Then I decided to make it a menage a trois and I invited Sal to the party.  I gave her twenty seconds of instruction, made sure there was plenty of room around her and set her free!  She danced that machine like she was born to it.  Placing pallets like doilies at a dining room table.  She had a touch with the controls not unlike a surgeon.  She was brill!

I gushed.  “Wow!  Sal!  You were awesome.  Right from the start – just moving stuff like it was an extension of yourself (actually, she was moving stuff better than if it was an extension of just herself.  On her own, she can get a bit klutzy – see previous post about quilting and blood).  I’m impressed!” 

“I don’t get what all the fuss is about.  It’s not hard.  Piece o’ cake.  I’m bored of this.  I’m going in.”  Then she looked at me like I was raving about playing with Lego or something and dismissed herself.  Natural born heavy equipment operator.

I looked at her with new eyes as she sashayed those cute little equipment operator hips back to the house.  Oooh….temptress-in-a-hardhat………thy name is Sally!

A few years back, we were in Thailand.  Sal fainted (40 degrees C) and slumped like a swooning Southern Belle to the floor of the lobby of our hotel.  Before she had even hit the prone position there were thee female staff members attending to her every want (which wasn’t much as she was unconscious – but it is the thought that counts).  I rushed across the lobby to attend but the lovely little Thai women were doing a fine job so I turned to call an ambulance. “Ambulance on it’s way, sir.”  Staff had already handled that, too.

Five minutes later we were expertly whisked off in an immaculate ambulance and greeted at the door of the hospital by the senior gastroenterologist.  No forms.  No waits.  No bureaucracy.  Just immediate service.  Sal was poked, prodded, de-blooded by a few cc’s and scanned and rayed where appropriate.  Total elapsed time: half an hour.  As they trundled her upstairs to what was a better room than provided by our hotel, I filled out some paperwork.  Maybe five minutes.

From fainting to luxurious floor five complete with several full-time-attendance nurses (really cute ones.  High heels, little caps and broad smiles….I almost checked in myself!) maybe took us one hour.  Probably less.

The hospital was immaculately clean.  The service stupendous.  The treatment effective and quick and the experience of being ‘looked after properly’ was way beyond our expectations.  They even gave Sal a room with a small kitchenette and a spare bed for me should I wish to sleep over.

We left the next day.  Sal was fine.  They charged me the equivalent of not-quite $300.00 everything included.

Yesterday around 2:00 pm Sal cut her finger.  It was deep.  She wanted stitches.  She went to Richmond General.  I was in the Valley looking at equipment and so I came as soon as I could – about an hour and a half later.  Sal greeted me at the door, “You do not want to go in there!  They said that I would have to wait another 3.5 hours and it is a horror show in there.  People throwing up and bleeding and still not getting looked at.  The disease and crowding alone is enough to make healthy people sick and, knowing you, you will go nuts.  Don’t go in.” 

“So, do I go or do I stay?  And what about your finger?”

“I don’t want to stay either.  I have been waiting in the rain outside for most of the time.  Can’t go in there!  Let’s go to that grocery store where there is a walk-in clinic.  I know we drive for another hour but I am three hours more here at the very least .” 

So we went to North Van.  Walk-in closed.  So we found another.  Small store front.  No chairs.  Couldn’t get in.  Packed.  Maybe twelve people spilling out the door.  Lots of hacking and wheezing.  They wouldn’t ‘do’  stitches anyway.  Not cost effective.  Prescription writing is more profitable, you see.  So, we left.  Went to another.  Sal was the 2nd one in when they opened at 5:30.  By 5:45 the place was teeming.  We got home just after 7:00.

Our politicians tell us we have the best health care system in the world.  It is a lie.  Our Health Care professionals warn us that 3rd world health care systems are expensive and dangerous.  But I’ve been to a lot of them (from Thailand to Mexico, from El Salvador to Guatemala and some of the Caribbean Islands) and that is a lie, too.  Third world is better.

Had we been home, I would have sutured Sal’s finger myself.  If she balked (she might) we would have gone into Campbell River and it would have been 1000% better.  Our Emergency doctors in CR are ex-South Africans and they KNOW sutures as well as anyone.

My point: This is not the best health care system in the world.  Worse, the professionals are NOT professional or, at the very least, they are not as caring, effective, fast and courteous as the Thais, the Mexicans or even The Bahamians.  When you see a dozen people on the North Shore standing cramped and injured in a store-front clinic, there is no doubt about it.  And should you, God help you, find yourself in an Emergency ward in a big urban hospital you can be assured that you are bathing in germs and one of the most popular is the drug resistant kind.  You may walk out with your finger stitched but you’ll be sporting a disease that will never go away.

You think we are off the grid now?  Wait until I put together a bigger and more comprehensive first aid kit that rivals that of a walk-in clinic in Thailand!

Let the appendectomies begin!