My neighbour got conned. By me. And I am not proud of it. Well, I wasn’t until yesterday. Now I am.
R had a hard approach to his site. Water access only is a term that can mean ‘easy access’ to the beach or very hard access to a cliff face. He had a pretty difficult approach (somewhere in between beach and cliff face) and it was getting tiresome for him and his wife to say the least. I had a chance to get some ramp and dock materials at salvage prices and I bought them to improve my own access. “Hey, neighbour!? Why don’t you buy some of this junk with me and rig up a ramp and dock. Should be able to put that puppy together for about $500. Piece o’ cake.”
“Five hundred? Ya think? But, geez, I dunno…..lots of work….kinda hard….geez…..”
“Oh, don’t be a wuss. Just say yes and get on with it!”
And so he did. But my neighbour does not do things by half. In fact, he does things better than an engineer, fabricator, industrial designer and a gang of slaves combined. Over the last year, he planned, machined, fabricated, assembled and constructed major improvements to the purchase and put them on the beach awaiting the hand of God to lift it all in place. The new components were impressive. But, until the installation was done, they were also useless.
And God was slow in coming.
“You and your %$#@! $500!!! I am into this now for $5,000 and it is still sitting on the beach!”
I didn’t actually hear that. He was talking into the air as I had made myself scarce for the last few months. I couldn’t hear the actual cursing but a fist shaking in the air in my direction was communicative enough. I stayed away. I was tempted to sneak over and yell, ‘Piece ‘o cake‘ in his direction (I have a twisted sense of humour) but I think he is armed. I definitely felt he was dangerous. Discretion is definitely the better part of valour in this situation.
God, it seems, is a barge. And the barge eventually came. It lifted and it put in to place my neighbour’s magnificent $5,000 new and improved ramp and dock yesterday (my mis-estimate-of-cost excuse? My wife claims I tend to add or delete zeros when I do math in my head. She may be right).
It was a delight to see it installed (and with not just some small relief for me). Everything came together like the work of the swiss watchmaker my neighbour is at heart.
“See!? I told ya! Piece ó cake! We’ll be there!!”