I try to be a rational empiricist but, what with my existential angst, I have to confess to a leaning towards Hegelism, if not spiritualism.  If I can’t will it, maybe God can.  I like Sci-fi, too.  Mind you, what with the cost of living in the city and the complete pointlessness of it all, I am tempted to fatalism with Nitzche overtones.  A nihilist even.  Hard to say.

One thing is for sure: God may be dead but money is the new God!  Morals may not be dead but what was wrong is now considered right.  So, they are really just on the ‘flip’  side of truth now.  Kind of a B-side, anti-moralistic stance on reality, really.

Facts may still be reality (and we all know facts fade – see medical facts, diets, healthy living, etc) but everyone seems to lie about everything and then stand by that so how real is that?  Then they say, “Well, that was then.  This is now.”  See GW Bush, Rob Ford, et al.

Things are pretty fluid in the world today.  And, of course, there is nothing wrong with that!  I am just trying to adjust is all…..

Most philosophies try to make sense of life and, by extension, reality.  Empiricists are limited by their senses and their means of measurement but, so far, Science seems to be catching on and Spiritualism and Mysticism (metaphysical) are being shunted to the margins.

The jury is still out.

And, having said that, people are increasingly leading ‘virtual’ lives, politicians simply lie-in-your-face and a huge percentage of people are well on their way to developing a new philosophy called ‘Denialism’.  It is not spiritualism.  It is the claim that whatever seems to be true is not and the opposite is likely true – especially if you believe that.  For awhile anyway.  We have Republicans, for instance.  Rush Limbaugh.  Climate change deniers and wars declared due to the non-existence of weapons of mass destruction.  Trust me, Denialism is BIG these days.

I subscribe to Denialism.  Not willingly, of course.  I deny subscribing willingly.  But the truth is I am having a harder and harder time believing what I am seeing and experiencing.  I am tempted to deny.    “I can’t believe it!”  is my most frequently uttered refrain these past few weeks.  It’s like an anti-faith.  I now have to believe in the anti-faith of reality.  Or the faith of anti-reality.  I have to.  ‘Cause that’s the new reality.

That’s sick.  I know.  But I am becoming a denialist.  Like Rush and Beck and Ford and Harper. Sick!

But there is nothing wrong with that!

(see how it works?)

For instance: I went to Costco and it took 2 hours to get a prescription filled…!  That is hard to believe but they fooled me every 15 minutes by saying ‘it would be ready any minute now’.  And they did this for two hours!  Well, they did it to Sally ’cause Security had to escort me from the building.  (Problem is that I promised not to hurt anyone after my first confrontation and felt obliged to keep to that but, of course, Rob Ford would lash out, draw blood, toke up and then simply deny it so I have a lot to learn still about Denialism).

I also crossed the Port Mann bridge twice last week and, though annoyed by the tolls being extracted, took some solace in the fact that they were discount tolls (50%) til the new year.  They track you by photographing your license plate and then charging you 19% interest on unpaid tolls.  Plus a registration fee.

Hard to believe that one has to be registered to pay a toll on a bridge!

So, I called in to pay.  But the robo-thief wouldn’t recognize my Visa.  So, I couldn’t pay.  All together now with the common refrain: ‘I couldn’t believe it!’

They knew what car I drove, when I traveled and even when I traveled with a small utility trailer (they charge more for that) but they wouldn’t take my payment and were going to penalize me and put a smudge on my license.  All this because I had the temerity to cross a bridge!

Hard to believe folks, but I had learned my lesson from Ford and so I phoned directly and denied ever being in the lower mainland and said they must have me confused with someone else.  “But, sir, we have your car, your face and your phone number.  We also know when you crossed over and when you crossed back.  And we know where you live.  You can deny all you want but ICBC will still get you!”

“Oh, alright!  I was lying but that happens when I am drunk or smoking crack, eh?  Nothin’  wrong with that, right?  Go ahead.  Just charge me.  But charge me the discount rate ‘ cause it was before the new year.” 

“Oh, that does not apply to you, sir.  You would have had to register before February of last year for that discount.  We kinda lie about that.  Sorry, sir.” 

She was not really sorry.  But you knew that…

“So, is this call being recorded for training purposes?” 

The point:  I couldn’t deny them but they denied me!  So Denialism is just for the elite.  I shoulda known!  All religions started that way.

Tax-and-spend.  The NDP has worn that pathetically weak but somehow effectively insulting label forever – even tho they have rarely actually had the reins of power long enough to earn it.

The irony is: it is hard to be anything but tax-and-spend when you are a government – any government – they all tax and they all spend so, like, what is the point of insulting one party with that description?  It is like pointing at a pro-hockey player and yelling, “All you do is skate, pass and shoot!”

But even more of a misnomer is that the party of good economic management is the moniker given the provincial Liberal party and they are the worst of the tax-and-spenders.  They are the worst money-managers!  They spend way more than they tax!

We are $60 billion in debt because of them and what were previously our biggest cash cows (BC Hydro and BC Ferries) are now hemorrhaging in red ink.  The rest of the herd is bleeding profusely as well.  Every single project the Liberals have touched has failed, come in over budget, not realized the income projections or simply has not worked.  They have mis-spent billions and billions and yet people see them as the party for the economy.  How is that even possible?  How could we be that stupid?

It’s simple, really….we really are that stupid.  The reason they can sell us that line of BS is that we kinda think of business as they present it.  We believe all that free-enterprise (the popular, media version) crap!  We think that, “Hey, I just go out on a limb, work hard, take a chance and, voila! I either win or lose.  It is a crapshoot but my chances are as good as the next guy’s.”

No!  No, they are not!  If the next guy is SNC Lavalin or some other Liberal corporate crony, you are dead wrong!  You are playing against the house and you are playing with a stacked deck.  You haven’t a chance.  It is NOT a level playing field out there, folks.  You have to play by ever-changing rules in a confusing economic milieu with cheats, liars and bureaucrats stacking the deck against you, the small entrepreneur or the worker-bee.

They, on the other hand, play in the back rooms with fixes and bribes already taken and banked off-shore before the game begins.

BC Hydro was in the black until the Liberal business experts started fiddling with it.  Now Hydro bills are higher and going higher to pay for their mistakes.  Paid by you (they already took their share to off-shore accounts).  And BC Hydro is not an isolated example.  See BC Rail.  See the Convention Centre.  See mass transit.  See BC Ferries.  See lumber sales.  The list goes on and on.

And wait for the crime of the century with Enbridge, Kinder Morgan and LNG.

Small companies are failing in droves.  People can’t find employment at the same time the banks and the mining companies are lobbying to allow foreign workers in to ‘fill the worker shortage’.  A huge percentage of people were literally cheated out of their pensions and most people in Canada are hugely in debt!  There is something radically wrong with that scenario.

And don’t even think about the tragedy facing young people today.

Face it – the party of business (provincially, the Liberals and federally, the Conservatives) is the party of incompetence, corruption and crime.  You will have plenty of time for reading up on all this while you wait for months for your health care services, your kids wander off in an uneducated or inebriated daze or you wile away your free time stuck in traffic or in front of a screen.

Folks, it is time to give your head a shake: most of us have bought the Kool Aid and drunk it.  And we liked the sweetness.  But the drink is poison.  It is a lie.  It is waste water.  It is NOT right.  Our system is rotten and we can’t change it by thinking that, ‘with a bit of luck I, too, can get rich!’

You can’t.  It will never happen.  This is a system stacked against everyone but the in-crowd.  But, even worse, the common definition of rich is toxic and dysfunctional.  We are working harder to make ourselves sicker.

We have to look at ‘enterprise’ differently.   WE have to look at economics differently.  We need a new definition of ‘rich’.

And the easiest way to change the basic ‘construct’ is to ask yourself the real question: “So, what is being rich really like, anyway?  And why am I a believer in this new religion?  Do I get to eat more food, drive more cars, buy more junk or what?  Is being rich more fun?  Is that what I want? 

“Admittedly, I won’t have the day-to-day worries but will I be closer to my family?  My friends?  Will my health be better?  Will I have more time to enjoy nature or play?  Will I pursue my interests?  What exactly has getting rich done for say, Jimmy Pattison?  Is he living a better life than me?  Is he happier?”

I actually know the answer to that but it is not my place to speak for JP.    All I can say is that JP ain’t as happy as I am and I don’t have his wealth.  And I can honestly say that, if I did, I would give virtually all of it away.  It is worth nothing in my world (well, I can still spend modestly now and then on solar panels and two-by-sixes, I admit that).

Happiness and great wealth are NOT related.  Not even close.  We all need some income (and some meaningful work), a lot of friends and family, some basic security (not airport level) and lots of good health.  And we need a healthy place in which to live.  But we don’t need too much in the way of consumer goods.  In other words, we all have our priorities wrong.

No wonder our politicians are always wrong.

I am one of those people who cause trouble.  Not real trouble, of course (although that, too, has happened) but ‘step-on-toes’ kinda trouble.  Hurt feelings.  Insensitive remarks.  Opinions.  Values.  Judgements.  I am, what is euphemistically described as, situationally incorrect….most of the time.  Or, more succinctly: obnoxious.  I can’t help it.  I trust too much.

You see, I also like people and I crack good jokes for them and for me to enjoy.  I do.  Really.  So the people I am with laugh and then I relax and then I innocently trust them to interpret my further remarks in my favour.  You know…benefit of the doubt…kinda thing?  Of course I know that a leper joke may fall on a victim’s ears and NOT be funny (to them) but I trust that they will see the humour first and the revulsion and dread as just normal.  And not really personal.

OK, maybe I should have noticed the stubs……but………honestly, unknot the knickers, folks! 

That kind of mentally healthy, humour acceptance rarely happens these days and I find myself having to apologize to some goofball who has sent money to lepers in Madagascar just because I made jokes about finding fingers in my soup.  I mean, really?!  Should I have to apologize for a leprous finger in my soup?

And I express opinions.  I was in the West Vancouver Library today and they are going all free-enterprise on the citizenry and part of that is selling books that don’t get read.  Like a discount bin.  Of course, the two books on the discount bin that caught my attention were biographies of Stephen Harper ($3.00, hard cover) and Brian Mulroney ($4.00, hard cover).  I honestly believe the hard-to-pass BM tomb (and I mean that) book went for more because it was, naturally enough, more long-winded.  It was thicker, duller, more pompous and yet a still competitively horrible read.

“You guys will never sell these books, ya know…?  If I had a working fireplace and you paid me the posted price instead of me paying you, I would warm myself with burning them but, other than that, they have no value.  Seriously, librarian-dudettes, presto-logs are more marketable.  Who does your inventory?”

A volunteer in the back cracked up but the two ‘pinched’ librarians just looked at me like I was specimen-in-a-jar.

I dunno…….maybe I should just shut up.  Who wants to hear at an auto parts counter that they should NOT have a 20 minute wait and a ‘take-a-number’ system going on…complete with the well-timed and colourful sarcastic remarks….?  Well, Lordco Northshore doesn’t like to hear it, that’s for sure.  Pussies!

Could it be me?

Maybe.

Will I change?

I doubt it. 

Maybe I should just go back to the forest where I belong.

I think so.

I have learned that there is a new social condition out there – Failure to Launch (FTL).  It is a term referring to adult children who don’t leave home at the generally expected age of somewhere between 19 and 25.  Instead, many of those children are staying at home with their aging parents and, as a consequence, remaining somewhat less-than-mature and less-than-able in the world.  It is not good.

It is not good for the aging parents, of course, who need to get on with their lives but it is also not good for the ‘subsidized’ young adults who will be left unable to properly fend for themselves when the time comes – which it inevitably will.

And no, I am not talking about one or two young adults.  According to statistics, the number is closer to 30% of the baby-boomer’s children!  That is a helluva lot of young people caught up in some kind of weird generational dystopia.  A dystopic world consisting of basement bedrooms, video-games, under-employment and unreal expectations.  It is a world of loneliness, too.  One of three are not ‘in the game’ that their peers are playing.

This is a social epidemic of dysfunctionality.  And it is a tragedy of immense proportions.

Part of the reason for this, I think, is the recent phenomena of women working full-time.  The only major statistical change in the last few generations is women in the workforce in droves.  That means fewer mothers at home.  There is no greater incentive for a young person to leave home than a nagging, cloying mother treating emerging adults as children.

And, when a young man is feeling his testosterone, if the only female in his life is his mother or sister, there is a built-in primal check and balance that has him reject them for someone new.  Someone new requires getting out more.  So, he goes.  And so goes his sister.  But working women are not so omnipresent at home these days and watching TV in the rec room is made so much easier.

Of course, it is much more complicated than that, I am sure.  In the old days, fathers were not SNAGs (senitive new age guys) and were generally more belligerent than the modern Alan Aldas of today.  Which I think is a good thing.  But the law of unintended consequences plays out in the bull mooses of the family NOT butting heads as was so often the case in the past.  Personally, it was my father’s nasty disposition that prompted my leaving home at nineteen and had me planning my departure years earlier.  That is not the Disney or Father Knows Best force we have all come to value but still it was quite an effective launching mechanism.

More liberal sexual mores are also a factor.  Seems many kids are sexually active now in their early teens.  If you are living at home and your sex life is condoned by your parents, society and by your now-more-willing partner, then another reason-for-leaving home has been eliminated.

And, I guess, most families being somewhat better off financially has also made the need for another adult’s income or, at least for the launching of a mouth-than-can-work, somewhat reduced.  If the parents can easily afford to keep the adult child, then the need for that child to make his or her own way when they can is alleviated.  Wealth can undermine the next generation’s independence as history has shown time and time again.

Of course, some kids are just dysfunctional.  That, too, has been the case throughout history.  But that contingent has always been a small number.  Thirty percent is unprecedented.  We have and are continuing to do something very wrong on a very large scale.  There will be consequences.

There already are.  A few of my relatives are FTLs and they are not happy, motivated, citizens-in-the-making.  They are angry.  They are bitter.  And they are becoming increasingly more dispirited.  In fact, one young relative tore a strip off me one day for being part of the generation that ‘owns a house when I never will’ and ‘holds on to the job so long that I will never get one’.  That I retired at 55 saved me from a further tongue lashing but the attitude was manifest.  He is not a happy camper.

Spoiled rotten?  Dysfunctional?  Socially challenged?  Unfit?  Not really.  He had a degree but couldn’t get a job in his profession.  Claimed all the baby boomers were staying on too long (teaching).  But he was sociable, intelligent, and spoke and presented well.  He could have been hired – but just wasn’t.

Unfit?  Definitely getting there.  His attitude is not good.  And it is not getting better.  But he didn’t start that way.  Fifteen years of not being able to enter the workforce was showing.  He would not have been my first choice had he just interviewed with me, that is for sure.

Even though ‘launching’ does not require a house, the goal of having one someday is usually in the back of everyone’s mind.  When I was young and starting out, houses were outrageously expensive.  Seemed way out of reach virtually all of the time I was trying.  A reasonable but modest house cost as much as ten times my annual gross salary.  If I made $7000 a year, the house in my neighbourhood was $70,000.  Today, houses in that same neighbourhood are a million dollars or more.  To keep to that already almost-impossible earnings-to-house-price ratio a young person starting out has to earn $100,000 a year.  Even if some young person is part of the newbies group who gets a job, they don’t earn that much.  And, if you are un- or underemployed, owning a home is beyond contemplating.  So, it is harder to launch.  The kids are right.

Of course, a little help, a little tough love, a good attitude and a lucky break or two can change anyone’s life and I think that this generation needs to strive towards all of that.  But, when 30% are in that situation, they may need something more.  I have no idea what that might be but one thing is for sure – these kids have big challenges.  I think they are bigger than we had.

Hundreds of thousands of people were without power over the holidays.  It was pretty bad this year.  Ice storms, snow storms, freezing temperatures.  All across the continent it seemed.  Winter was slow in coming but when it came, it carried a punch.  And, as usual, we dodged all the bullets.  We were lucky.

Of course, most of the time it has nothing to do with luck.  We are off the grid and that means independent of the grid.  That means that our power is in our hands and not in the hands of a utility company.  To be fair, they do a remarkable job and the power they sell is cheaper than what we make for ourselves.  But the utilities have millions of people who depend on them and even a single blown transformer can affect a lot of people.  And an ice storm can cripple half the nation.

When the BIG trip up, a lot of littles take the loss.

We are simply not players in that game any more.  So, for the most part, it is NOT luck, it was simply a choice.  We chose NOT to play nicely together with the utilities and we seem to be better off for that decision.

But, for all that, I don’t see why more grid-people don’t take a few minor precautions for what seems like an inevitability of living on the grid?  It would take very little to make one’s suburban or even urban (highrise, townhouse, condo) home independent enough to get through a few days.  Few people, of course, are going to want to run generators in their apartment.  And I am not advocating that they do.  But a simple battery system (that remains charged from the grid until it goes down) will keep the lights and computers on.

That would be easy.  Simple.  And not expensive.

Going up a notch, Honda makes two models of small generator that would keep a home going (on the very basics) for days.  The Honda Eu1000 (for balcony use) and the Honda Eu2000 (for townhouses) would be sufficient for lights and computers, maybe the fridge, too.  A small home could likely keep functioning with the Eu3000 and a good-sized home with all the mod cons would stay on with the Eu6500 (you’d still have to be a smidge careful of use like not doing a wash with all the lights on).

I mention the Eu series of Honda because they are the models that have inverters built in and so the power they produce is ‘pure sine wave’ and good enough for directly running modern appliances and computers.  If you use a generator that is not an ‘inverter-equipped’ type then it would be advisable to run the power through a separate inverter and battery system to ‘cleanse’ the wave form.  Basically, an Eu6500 is cheaper in the long run given that the use would be infrequent.

I have the Eu2000.  Plus I have two other gensets that do not have the pure sine wave output because all their output is ‘cleansed’ by going to my battery banks and then, when I need more power for the house, that battery power goes through an inverter.  In that way, I can store power in the battery banks and not have to run the genset all that much.  In fact, I can store power from my wind turbine and solar panels, too.

But that is me.  That is off the grid.

On the grid types don’t need that.  All most of you need is a 5000 watt or larger generator, a plug-in-to-the-breaker box and ten gallons of fuel.  That should last you four or five days.  If you need ‘clean’ power for computers and fancy do-dahs (as most people would) then get the inverter series.  It is really quite simple.

Why write about that which everyone already knows?  Well, it seems that not everyone does know.  Hundreds of thousands of people are without power still and it has been over five days for many of them.  Don’t be one of those left without when the inevitable power outage hits your neck of the woods.  After all, how could you read this blog if you didn’t have power?

Thank God!  Finally!  I can advertise my services.  And I can do my work with an assistant to at least attend to the paperwork.  Mind you, I expect to still do most of the heavy lifting.  But I can now do most of my work from the comfort of my own home.  It is about time!

For years, I have been wanting to be a bona fide sex-trade worker.  Seriously.  And now there is nothing wrong with that!  But there was such a stigma before – imagine that!  As a consequence of that prejudice, I was much too embarrassed to really make a career of it.  Afraid to advertise, mostly.  I am sure you understand.  That has all changed with the Supreme Court rulings that makes it all alright.

I am now good to go.

Now my passion (in every sense of the word) can come out and speak it’s name.   No more closets.  I may even go for certification.  Why not?  As everyone knows, it is dicey and chancey work at the best of times.  Training might help (car window conversations have always been hard for me).  And I really should be licensed.  At the very least a permit or tag to wear around my neck.

Or maybe a red strobe?

Now I can also have people who live off the avails of my work (as if they haven’t already!).  The government’s position on that hasn’t changed.

And, of course, you need your people.  Well, at least one.  It really would have been nice to have had a customer over the past 45 years, too!  But I was really underground.  No advertising.   These have been very, very lean years cash-flow wise, I can tell ya!

Anyway, the government in their infinite wisdom has finally decided that paid-for-sex (as if there was any other kind) is now reputable enough to be licensed, housed, regulated, monitored and, of course, taxed.  They claim it is about safety for sex-trade workers but, in my 50 or so years in the business, clandestine as it was, I have never been afraid for my safety.

Performance?…….perhaps.  Ridicule?….I do have a complex about that.  And the ability to finish what I started?…well, maybe a few times…..but safety?  Hardly ever.

Well……in my late teens, there was this one girl who suggested through sobs and tears that it would be in my best interests to attend the nearest clinic for tests…that was a bit scary.

And I admit that not just a few of my offers of service were rudely if not overly aggressively turned down.  Like I said, it is dangerous work….even applying for  the position can be dangerous.

The good thing about my new career is that there is no skill involved.  No education.  No commitment.  One doesn’t have to even break a sweat (that costs extra).  The industry is literally an easy-entry (nudge, nudge, wink, wink) trade and one can fly by the seat of their pants for a decade or two for the most part.  Or even without the seat of their pants.  So to speak.

I may not have much to offer the marketplace at this late date but at least I have seniority.  I know which end is up.

Not everyone does, you know?

I used to say that I would not get out of bed for $500 but now I can tell the truth.  That is actually the price of getting me into bed!  Mind you, with all the new costs to figure in and my pension to consider…plus advertising, shelter costs, medical, taxes, security and permits, I may have to add a zero to that.  I will be charging $5000 an hour and yes, any part of an hour, even 15 minutes, counts as an hour!

Sally will be booking my appointments.

The Joint Review Panel (JRP) ‘reviewing‘ the proposed Enbridge pipeline approved the proposal yesterday.  After a year or more of public hearings in which 1200 submissions spoke against the project and only two spoke in favour, the panel (after much consideration) decided to approve what Stephen Harper and the Conservative Government of Canada has already been selling to Asian interests for the last three years.  The decision was not a surprise.

I suppose a rejection of the pipeline proposal could have proven embarrassing to the government.  But, then again, nothing seems to embarrass them so maybe not.  Don’t forget, Harper and Flaherty are good friends with Rob Ford.  They appointed Duffy, Wallin and Brazeau to the senate.  They have a high tolerance for embarrassment.

More likely, the fix was already in and the panel was not reviewing anything and only providing ‘window dressing’ to the public.

I confess to suspecting that early on, myself.  All of the members of the panel were appointed from the petroleum industry.  All of the panel members were already deeply in the pockets of that industry and not one of them had a history of ever doing anything but what they were told.  They had spines and hearts of heavy oil.  There was not even a semblance of neutrality in their appointments.  It was a violation of administrative justice from the get-go.

A female friend of mine who belongs to a bookclub asked me the other day, “We, in the bookclub, are getting a bit fed up with the erosion of Democracy in this country but we don’t know what to do about it.  If you were making suggestions, what would they be?”

“My first suggestion is to pay for everything in cash.  It is a very small and quiet protest and largely ineffectual but it is easy and it hits Big Bro at least a little.  Makes you harder to track, too.  Plus it will help you manage your own budget.  Also buy local only if it is made or grown locally.

(Another friend wrote: I am into reading about GMO’s and our globe food supplier. Corporate Agriculture (land grabs, deforestation, mono-crops, herbicides, pesticides, artificially produced nitrogen fertilizers, usable phosphorus depletion, Monsanto and patented food crops, seed control, changing global eating habits, packaged convenient foods for the working world.) 

“But the main thing is this: people do not vote anymore.  They do not write their MP/Mla anymore.  They don’t even watch the news because they know that, too, is a waste of their time.  They know that their media only lies and entertains and their government is out of touch with the people.  They know their government is more invested in the corporations and big institutions than it is the people.  They know that they-the-little-people don’t count.  Sadly, they have largely opted out of the too-big-to-fail system.

“So, that means that we have to create a new parallel system.  We have to enact people politics and see that local decisions get made by local people.  That means a lot of social media, a lot of citizen participation and a lot of rule-breaking if the rule does not benefit the community.  Basically we have been rejected by our own governments as too insignificant for them to care about and we have to conceive of a replacement for that.  We have to organize and act on our own behalf because those who are elected are not doing that for us. 

But we don’t have to fight.

Civil disobedience is not necessary.  Think instead: workaround. 

“We have to do what is right and workaround the government when we can.  And that does not mean fighting the state in any kind of getting-tasered way.  If we do that, we lose.  We go to jail.  We might die from chronic tasering.  We have to simply do what we can to take the government out of ‘our‘ equation.  Passive rebellion.  Resistance by parallel paths.  Ignore tham in every way possible.  Shun the bastards!”

“How do we do that?”

“I am not exactly sure.  But I do know that resistance in any form is useful.  And passive resistance is the safest.  Pay cash.  Drive less.  Barter.  Grow your own. Buy and sell direct amongst community members.  Never, ever give them permission to do anything in your neighbourhood.  Ever.  Reject, refuse, rebel and be legally as uncooperative as possible.  In all things. 

“And never ever vote for the mainstream political parties.  Ever!  They have all drunk the Kool-Aid.  They are all in on it. They believe in the system.  We don’t!

Well, vote for me if I run Green, OK?  They are trying to be mainstream, I admit, but they have such a long way to go, we may be able to keep them rooted in the community for a while longer.  And, so far, Elizabeth May is excellent!

“Pass the Kool-Aid!”       

So, I am an old guy.  You know.  Kinda.  And my kids are away.  My parents are deceased.  The larger family isn’t all that close.  And my friends are busy over the next few days and well, Xmas doesn’t mean as much to me right now.  Not really.

You know how it is…?  We have some lights but no tree.  That kinda says it all……… 

I am afraid it is a combination of anti-consumerism sentiment, been-there-done-that-ism and a hereditary Grinch gene mixed in with a little humbuggery.  I am not so much a downer as an outer.  Maybe a down-‘n-outer, I suppose, but it seems more like just not wanting to go the party.

‘I vont to be alone’.

Mind you, after reaching that major milestone of cynicism at seven years old when I learned there was no Santa I have never liked Christmas.  And it has been downhill ever since.

Well, so I thought, anyway.  As my daughter reminded me today, ‘Dad, that is what you always say and then when it is over, we get all those maudlin blogs that jerk tears from us….I can’t take it anymore.  Oh Gawd!  The humanity!  Please…just stop it!’

Sheesh.  And I thought I was just being a sensitive, new-age guy…?

Anyway, my friend – the one who dragged us kicking and screaming into this hell-hole of a city, the one who shanghaied us into Shanghai-on-the-west-coast, the one who bosses around a crew of tough worker-bees every day on the building site dropped by unannounced and gave Sal and me presents.  We got heated coats.  Milwaukee worker-dude heated jackets with little ‘lights’ on the front to tell everyone how cool we are by being warm.

So we walked around outside for a while being toasty and happy.  It was nice.

Xmas – for me – is for others.  If I am gonna participate at all, it is usually to make things nicer for others.  I don’t want anything I don’t already have or can get fairly easily.  I don’t need anything hardly at all.  I am about as happy as I can be for a curmudgeon and even amongst the curmudgeons, I tend to violate the happiness allotment.  They are always sending me notices to ‘curb the joy, dude!’  I verge on the cusp of curmudgeon and contented.  I could lose my membership card.

I’ll never get elected to the board.

But the present was a treat.  It really was.  It is not so much the coat (tho that is pretty neat and several of the worker guys stopped me today to tease me about it – “What?  You getting chilly sitting in front of the TV, Dave?” ).  It is more the fact that my friend put himself in my shoes.  He knows those shoes are usually gumboots and we are in inclement weather a lot.  It can get pretty chilly in an open boat.  He knew that a heated jacket would really be appreciated by us.  He also knew that Sal would look cute-as-a-bug’s-earmuff in one. 

Put another way: it was a very thoughtful gift.

And it is only December 19th!

What else ya got?

I feel a bit that way right now.  Like an impostor.  This blog is supposed to be about living off the grid and no one is more ON the grid than me.  Smart TV and all. I am an impostor.  It is a bit embarrassing.

But, in an effort to stay true to the message, let me cite two incidents that reinforce my committment to getting back out there as soon as possible.

One involves a cavity search.

Seems some female Indian diplomat has been accused of underpaying her domestic help.  Nasty behaviour but not unexpected amongst the elite.  So, when she comes back from abroad and has to go through US customs, she is given the full treatment – she is strip-searched and cavity-probed.  Seems the government has the power to probe your parts on whatever basis it wants to use and, in this case, it is about alleged underpayment of wages.  Probing for cash, perhaps?  Call me crazy but that is a major abuse of power that underscores the whole of the Big Brother problem in a minor cavity-kind-of-way.

The second incident involves an older woman in Florida living off the grid.  She owns her home outright and her taxes are paid.  But she lives in a tract home in the burbs and so the city of Coral Gable is not accepting of her refusal of grid-based services such as water and electricity.  She collects rainwater and uses propane.  They don’t like that.  They want to make more money off her and they have a monopoly with which to do it – the grid.  She jumped off and so they want to evict her.

That kinda says something about the grid, don’t you think?

Seen the actions of BC Hydro lately?

Of course I know that these are isolated examples of the abuse of power but, on the other hand, I do not think them as uncommon as they might seem.  Big Brother touches us all one way or the other and some are touched so hard they are hurt. Big Brother is a bully.

I can’t imagine my dealing with a cavity searcher in an obedient manner.  I am sure that I would escalate the incident, be tasered, arrested and likely jailed.  God knows, they might actually kill me in the process and, after the cover up, all the parties would go about their protected business of bullying people.  City living at it’s best!

That sort of thing used to outrage me.  I’d get worked up.  It was wrong and I would argue, resist, refuse, object and fume about it.  Rant, even.  Sometimes I actually did something about it.

But not so much anymore.  Now I have an alternative.  I can leave.  And so I do.  When I am off the grid, I am largely exempt from the insanity that passes as civilization these days and, despite the lack of regular tasering, enforcement officers, cavity-probers and document-servers, life is surprisingly much, much better.  More civilized, if you want to know.  Seems we don’t need no stinkin’ badges forced on us to behave.

The point: we have come to accept too much forced intervention in our lives.  Too much regulation.  Too much control.  But we did not do this willingly, knowingly or even consciously.  Big Bro (institutions) has the benefit of a never-ending life.  It can afford the time it takes to impose its will.   And so more and more incremental control has been imposed over the years and each generation is born into it and accepts it as ‘normal’.  It is not.  It is erosion by drips.  It is insidious.  It is like a disease.  And we were infected a long time ago.

“Dave, you are an anarchist!”

“No, I am not.  I do not want chaos.  I like a bit of order.  I am actually quite sane (as all crazy people think of themselves)”.  I am just saying that bit by bit, law by law, rule by rule, social manipulation by social manipulation and forced-by-circumstances controls (like traffic) we are becoming more and more controlled.  We may not realize it but we are jailing ourselves!

And it is all that that makes me an impostor.  Hypocrite at the very least.  I know this is wrong but I am going to stay awhile anyway.  For me, it is like visiting friends in jail.  I can do it because I know that visiting hours are limited and, even if they weren’t, I’d limit them myself.  And I will.  I will hand back my security pass.  I will allow them to pat me down.  And then I will get the hell out!

It is an option open to every one.

At least for the time being. 

OMYGAWD…bad habits never die.

We are busy and we do things and the day wears on and we come home and then………….well……there’s a lull and….well, (I am so ashamed) I pick up the remote……press a button…….and, for the next hour or so watch mind-numbing drivel.  Nothing in particular, actually…..just channel surfing…watching a bit of this…..moving on…….fifteen minutes of football……….move on……and..time….goes by.

Still staring at the screen I say to Sal, “I am going to rip that thing from the wall and trash it!”

“Why don’t you just turn it off?”

“Can’t.  Anyway, that super long pass is being shown again……..”

“Haven’t you seen it already?  Like five times?”

 “Yeah…..  But it is super long!  Oh God, I need help!  Please, try to take the remote from me.  I’ll resist you but keep trying.  It is our only chance.  Oh God, phone someone!”

I have mentioned several noble reasons for moving to a remote island.  Going green.  Anti-materialism.  Learning new skills.  Adventure.  And all of them are true.  To an extent.  I have also mentioned things about city living that irritated me like traffic, rules, routine, paperwork and well, the giant paranoid-based conspiracy theory that they are trying to control me  (which comes from having to line up at BC Ferries mostly).  But I have never really ‘fessed up to the growing awareness I had that I was losing my life to the TV.

I wasn’t that bad.  Not really.  But I would come home from a busy day, eat dinner, drink wine and then plunk myself down in front of the screen and kinda zen-cum-hypnotize myself into a semi-comatose state until I had ‘come down’ from the stress of the day.  That something interesting might come on was a complete surprise and usually would only delay the onset of unconsciousness.  Totally unnecessary.  I didn’t watch TV for the interest, I watched it for the medicinal effect.  I zoned out.

I suppose TV watching is better than heavy drug use.  Cheaper, anyway.  But it was a habit.  And it was addictive.  And there is no doubt that it was unhealthy.  It did not make me want to strip copper wires from abandoned houses but neither did it prompt the energy expenditure that such a little hobby would have required.  My neighbourhood copper was safe but so was everything else that required physical activity.  I wasn’t going anywhere but deeper into the couch.

That’s not good.

And so we changed it.  We went all feral on ya.  That much you know.  But what you might not know is that the tendency to watch never fades.  One has to take it one day at a time, trust in a higher power and remove temptation.   I have to accept that I am not in control (unless I get the remote!) and adhere to the program.

‘Program’?  What channel is it on?